I had this crazy, horrible, Alice-in-wonderland type of dream last night. It seemed so real yet still only my imagination.
You have always heard the phrase, “They grow up so quickly” . Well after this dream I made a deal with Dylan that she is notallowed to grow any older than 5 years old; that if she could go back to 4, that would be even better still! I mean,
SHE STARTS KINDERGARTEN IN THE FALL!
Slow down!
My part of the deal, that Dylan made me swear to, was I was not allowed to grow any older than 91.
Really! That was what I was to do for her.
Judging by the way this ol’ body is throwing all these old-age kinks on me, I told her THAT was no problem!
My dream?
I dreamed my little Dylan, my Ariel, my princess wanted to get married!
Gasp!!!
Daddy, I want to get married. You don’t mind do you?
Normally, at this part of the nightmare I wake myself up, just too scared to think of the outcomes.
But after I saw a few pictures from her wedding I wanted to see how it all played out.
She looked beautiful as she walked down the stairs to her wedding!
Too cute actually for Daddy!
Her wedding was a big ceremony in a majestic cathedral!
Next came the reception.
…a point I both dread and look forward to with equal passion!
…Daddy’s last dance with his daughter…
May I have this dance?
I told her she better hold on.
That I dip sudden. I dip low. And I dip fast.
She just beamed her happy grin.
I held on and tried to make my,
er,
OUR last dance last as long as possible
Not wanting to see that moment come to its inevitable conclusion
I decided to wake myself up!
Phew!
Only a dream!
A sign, or symbol, that my little girl won’t stay little forever.
That I need to hold on and cherish all the prior years, as well as ages 5, 6, 7 and so on.
I thought, use this dream as a reminder she won’t be my little girl forever.
She’s fearless and it does Dad’s heart good to hear her come up just laughing and giggling like she was being tickled.
I threw her and caught her. I helped her jump the big waves.
Pretended to let the big waves sweep her away.
And then just let her be herself as I tried to catch some waves before the tide turned.
It was a beautiful day. Did you see these blue skies? The water was actually warmer than the air temperature and that is saying something in South Carolina! I caught a few wave rides. I hated to come out.
Mommy and Skylar had their own quality time!
OK, maybe I stayed in the water a bit too long.
In the end, these girl’s could just walk all over me with these feet!
PS: speaking a ‘love for water knows no boundaries‘ Heather and Reto we are taking the girls to Ocean City, NJ in late July. If its not too late for one or both of you to join us bring Lillya and Laylani and we can all swim in the ocean and ride some rides! Dangge!Bis spöter…
Yesterday I had my consultative meeting with a Cancer Doctor about my radiology options in getting rid of my cancer. This meeting went even better than we could had expected. It appears I have an option where they implant radioactive ‘seeds’ in my prostate.
While fairly invasive upfront, and by that I mean ‘in the beginning’, the actual procedure is quite in the ‘land-down-under’, the end result should be full use of my prostate for years to come. It doesn’t have to be removed. The cancer will die. I’ll be able to use this mysterious gland for a good long time it appears.
In fact, the doctor said the slow growing cancer doesn’t even need treated at all, at its current size, although he didn’t recommend that option.
We joked. We discussed the procedure and he gave me some more literature to read. The meeting went pretty well in the end.
My attitude has done a 180 since that one week in mid-May. While I still see my moods going from scared to nervous, relieved, hopeful and ambitious, I still remember that one week when my prospects were not so bright.
My doctor had told me I had about a 25% chance of having cancer after my blood tests. Then BOOM! I have cancer after the biopsies. I was set up with CAT scans, DOG scans and Bone scans to see how far the cancer had spread. This was new to me. It HAD to be a mistake. The C word? And I was scared for one dark week. It didn’t matter that it was the bargain-basement type of cancer. I had cancer cells in my body!
I looked at my girls I wanted to see grow up all that week. They were placed in our hands to take care of. How could this be?
I promised two very special birth families WE, a mommy and a daddy, would raise these girls to the best of our ability. I felt like I had let them down that week.
What about my wife? She does everything she can for these girls and there is still not enough time in the day for her. You mothers know what I mean. The thought of leaving her alone to struggle more was tearful.
And my parents, to outlive their son?
And so I walked out of that dark Cancer ward into the sunshine of the parking lot. I had a bit more bounce in my step than when I walked in. I didn’t even have to schedule the procedure until September! While not cured, this out patient ‘procedure’ can kill this dreaded cancer.
I hopped in my car. Turned the ignition on and headed for the exit.
Some people believe in coincidences and some people believe in miracles. I am beginning to lean more towards miracles.
As I headed towards the exit this song came on:
Click play and join me in my car as I drove home…
I knew this song from a few years past. I remembered it and knew how it went. Some of you who know the intro to the song may know where I am going with this.
The phrase I remembered came to me “Its not my time” instantly.
Followed by the words, “This could be the end of me. And everything I know.”
And as I drove away listening to more of the words I celebrated by turning the song up as loud as I could stand it.
And it’s not my time I’m not going There’s a fear in me And it’s not showing This could be the end of me And everything I know
But its not my time.
And I thought about the smiling faces of my two little girls.
I’ll be around to enjoy these things, and more, for a good long time I thought. And I am only moderately embarrassed to tell you I came to a stoplight and cried.
And I thought ‘what are the chances’?
What are the chances I hear this song at this time? A song I haven’t heard in years. A hard rock song from 4 years ago being played on an 80’s radio station. A song starting just as I turn on my car, after I kidded around with the nurses in the Cancer center, said good bye to my wife in the parking lot, and fumbled with my keys. The timing was spot on. What are the chances?
The man that sits beside me in church calls these things miracles. God did this for me. It doesn’t matter why.
Some may not believe this. It doesn’t matter. I’m not here to preach. It felt like a joyful, insanely happy (explicative) miracle. I’m going to live a long (explicative) time! It was the perfect (explicative) song at a great time.
“My friend this life we live It’s not what we have It’s what we believe in”
If you believe in miracles, or just want to, play this song. Then hop in the front seat of the car with me as I relive the day. I promise I won’t sing!
Much…
IT’S NOT MY TIME
Looking back at the beginning of this And how life was Just you and me and loving all of our friends Living life like an ocean Now the current’s only pulling me down It’s getting harder to breathe It won’t be too long and I’ll be going under Can you save me from this
‘Cause it’s not my time I’m not going There’s a fear in me And it’s not showing This could be the end of me And everything I know Ooo but I won’t go
I look ahead to all the plans that we made And the dreams that we had I’m in a world that tries to take ‘em away Oh but I’m taking ‘em back Cause all this time I’ve just been too blind to understand What should matter to me My friend this life we live It’s not what we have It’s what we believe in
And it’s not my time I’m not going There’s a fear in me And it’s not showing This could be the end of me And everything I know
But it’s not my time I’m not going There’s a will in me And now I know that This could be the end of me And everything I know Ooo but I won’t go I won’t go
There might be more than you believe There might be more than you and me There might be more than you can see
But it’s not my time I’m not going There’s a fear in me And it’s not showing This could be the end of me And everything I know
But it’s not my time I’m not going There’s a will in me And now it’s gonna show This could be the end of me And everything I know
There might be more than you believe There might be more than you and me There might be more than you can see
Last Sunday, a day in which we experienced the most beautiful weather Ireland has seen in years, I had the amazing opportunity to visit Skellig Michael, an island located in the Atlantic Ocean, just 11 km off the West Coast of Ireland.
Skellig Michael, while not known to a lot of people (thankfully - that's what makes it a hidden gem!), is in fact a…
Here is another Hidden Gem off the west coast of Ireland. This post combines some great photography of nature, Puffins and sea gulls along with the natural beauty of Ireland. Beyond the birds, look at those scenic stairs along the mountain. Beautiful! Thanks to 'The Journalist On the Run' for these great pictures! Check these and other great travel posts out at The Journalist On the Run. Thanks!
Another weekend has come and is going. We made it to the beach again despite Andrea’s attempts to keep us in all weekend. Our weekend plans were hastily rekindled as the news of Andrea hit the road and was a quick blur up the coast.
Bye-bye Andrea!
The famous Aunt Sue checked into our B&B on Friday. She comes down with her vacation already planned out. So it was good news to her Andrea didn’t get in her way. In fact, in typical carpei diem fashion she had our girls in bathing suits before I ever got out of bed on Saturday morning. And so in a blink…and a shower and a breakfast we were off…
It was a nice day again, a bit breezy as the dry backside of Andrea kept pushing her northward. The girls found their favorite tidal pool again, which was fine with dad as I just wanted to make up for the the 0-60 morning they put us through. And after a brief tumble in the waves I grabbed my hat and my shades and tried to become invisible and part of the chair.
I frequently talk about some of the incredible things that come out of Dylan’s mouth, both funny and perceptive in the DYLANism’s. Skylar, in her own way, is getting her own version of SKYLARism’s too. These are super cute things that come out of her mouth, and more so, the cute way she says them.
I can’t recapture in print the innocent tone of some of these but early SKYLARism‘s include:
“Yummy, Yummy, Yummy in my tummy, tummy, tummy“ which has morphed into her favorite tasting food simply becoming,
“Deee-wish-ous!“. Again, these seem to be her unique ideas and so adorable as the way a happy Skylar says them. But where did she get them from in the first place?
Now, somewhere, somehow, from somebody, she learned to “shake, shake, shake, like abigwetdog” when she gets out of the water to dry off.
Huh? Too cute, but where did this come from?
She reminds me what our past greyhound would do when he got out of laying in the tidal pools
Even though he had a super short coat you didn’t want to be around as he shook off surf and sand together.
But what Skylar does is sooo much cuter than Cloud.
Take a look…..but be ready, she’s fast…
That’s her version of drying off coming out of the surf!
...and then going back in again!
See any similarity?
She’s no stranger to sand…
The boy behind Cloudy liked to imitate him too…
Now before you start sending hate mail to me for me comparing the super cute little Skylar to a greyhound I am not doing that at all. I would never do that! We love our 2nd miracle child so much and these sayings just add to the adoration, although there are certain parallels. She is way too precious to be even in the same sentence with an animal.
The weekend turned out to be a Beee-yout-ti-ful one. We tried to make up for Memorial Day this weekend, now that a lot of the tourists have gone home.
We made it out to the beach by 10:30 Saturday morning. We do this to beat the crowds, traffic and get the girls off the beach in time for some naps. It was a perfect day; perfect temps, perfect winds, perfect tides.
We go out to a beach called Isle Of Palms. It is more of a residential beach (summer homes) than a touristy one (hotels and condos). The beaches then are unprotected by the lack of use of stone jetties. Accordingly, the beaches kind of reshape themselves about every full moon.
Sand bars head off the beach and parallel to it as as well. These parallel sand bars turn into warm tidal pools when the tide goes out. They are the perfect place for youngongs to play that are otherwise intimated by the ocean’s waves.
They are warm and safe. They can explore and jump and kick safely.
Here’s a brief look at the girls making do in their Atlantic backyard…
And so that’s where our two girls spent the majority of their morning. Since it was our first time back to the ocean since last September, Dylan digressed a bit in her love of the ocean. We played in the waves a little but it only took a couple of knock downs from the waves and mouth fulls of water to have her come in.
But we had a great day.
It reminded me of all the things I missed over the winter, the beach combing, riding the waves, the therapeutic sound of the sea. So I wanted to see of mommy wanted to head back out on Sunday too. (hint, hint)
Kicking back in our lounge chairs, watching the girls make their own fun in the tidal pools couldn’t help but remind me of one of my favorite beach songs. And so I will leave you with that and a few more pictures of summer to start your week. Cheers!
I know I don’t get there often enough But God knows I surely try It’s a magic kind of medicine That no doctor could prescribe
I used to rule my world from a pay phone Ships out on the sea But now times are rough Oh I got too much stuff I can’t explain the likes of me
But there’s this one particular harbor So far but yet so near
Where I see the days as they fade away And finally disappear
But then I think about the good times Down in the Caribbean sunshine
In my younger days I was so bad
Laughin’ about all the fun we’ve had
I’ve seen enough to feel the world spin Mixin’ different oceans meetin’ cousins Listen to the drummers and the night sounds Listen to the singers make the world go ’round..
Lakes below the mountain Flow into the sea
Like oils applied to canvas Oh how they permeate through me
But there’s this one particular harbor Sheltered from the wind
Where the children play
on the shore each day And all are safe within
A most mysterious calling harbor So far but yet so near
Where I can see the day
when my hair’s so gray And I finally disappear
But Not Yet…
Have a great weekend everyone! Make it the best week yet!
(Thanks to Jimmy Buffett for that One great Particular Harbor)
