This Wednesday marks a very special anniversary. It marks the second half of my life. A year ago I had that famous / infamous surgery to remove the prostate cancer from my body. It was life changing in many many ways, as you would imagine.
But first, a word for you, my sponsor:
I wanted to take you through an exercise where you have to imagine where you have to leave everyone you love behind; as well as all your goals, all the time invested already in the formation of who you are, ending. You think about things like that when the doctor tells you there is cancer in your body.
But I was a lucky one as my cancer was one of the comparatively easy cancers to deal with when caught early. But it still changed my life.
I tried to frame the whole experience in humor. I mean ya gotta laugh, right? Feeling sorry for yourself or trying to blame someone is so hard on the soul. No one wants to be around those types of people. Luckily my prostate experience was packed full if hilarious stories and images!
Like this one, where the morning before the procedure, where they shot 99 radiated seeds in my arse, I had to do number 2 while I was waiting? And so after I debated on the ‘the should ‘I or ‘shouldn’t I’s’ and how it would affect my operation down there. I found my way to a private privy. Did the business. Tried to clean up using only one arm as the other had an IV stuck in it. I tried to save the procedure by trying to sanitize my butt by sticking a glob of germ killing hand sanitizer gel up my crack in an effort to prevent infection? Don’t ever do this! It burns in that little cubby-hole! It really does.
And so, in an effort to wipe the gel out of my butt I had to do a quick quarter turn to get the open back half of my surgical gown out of the way (remember, cause my left hand was holding an IV bag) so my hand with the wash cloth could wipe but as I did my quick quarter turn the gown would jerk back and cover it up and so I kept trying, doing my quarter turn thing, and the gown kept on covering it up and my wife was laughing hysterically as it looked like a dog trying to catch his tail? Do you remember that? You can find that and a few other humorous stories from the day of my procedure here.
Or remember the post of the Saturday morning when I was to go in and donate a ‘sample’ of my prostate to be analyzed (biopsy) only to realize the good doctor meant sample as in plural. I found there were 12 shot glasses in this little torture chamber that Saturday morning each awaiting a different section of my prostate to dissect and analyze to the exact location and extent of the cancer? And not only was he going to stick this intrusive needle in the front of my rear, but also a little light, a camera, a finger, a nurse or two to hold his stethoscope…
And who could forget these images from the inserting-99-radioactive-seeds-in-my-prostate procedure?
Why I found out my little cancer even has its own page of jokes on the Internet! Like this one:
A man elects to have a prostatectomy (removal of the prostate) and asks the surgeon to try to spare and save the nerves that produce an erection. Well, he goes into surgery and wakes up in the recovery room and sees his doctor.
Man: So how did it go?
Doctor: I’ve got good news and bad news.
Man: Give me the good news first.
Doctor: We were able to save the nerves.
Man: That’s great news! What’s the bad news?
Doctor: They’re under your pillow.
There were also a multitude of masturbation jokes that suggest that practice is actually healthy for a prostate. But I won’t touch them here. Although some of them can’t be beat!
So, yes, humor to lighten life’s load. …Oh I hope you think these things are funny. I can’t afford to lose any more readers! 🙂
Now, a year later, I feel better than ever after all this too, although I never ever felt sick to begin with. I may feel a little older, but for an 85 year old man I feel pretty good!
And so occasionally I think about, “Why me?” “Why did I have to go through this?”
Do you ever do that? Try to find reasoning behind the good or bad in your life? Why me? I have no clue. But in trying to find the answer I started reading the Bible; for the first time in my life. It wasn’t to get all religious or born again or anything. That’s not who I am. It was simply an attempt to get to know God a little bit better, and maybe help me figure out ‘why me?’
And also say, “Thank You God!” Cause my outcome could always been a lot worse.
And through this God gave me a new theme song on the day of my cancer analysis, that it was Not My Time, by Three Doors Down, That song serves as a constant reminder of what my life is and what could have been.
‘Cause all this time I’ve just been too blind to understand
What should matter to me
My friend, this life we live, it’s not what we have
It’s what we believe in
And I believe we all have a purpose in this short life of ours. Mine may be to serve, lead and / or spread hope. What is yours? Carpi Diem!
Yes, I also believe the time is now. My friends, don’t wait! You don’t know what lies ahead. Live YOUR life now! You can’t take it with you.
I now believe I should try not to take the normal blessings in our lives for granted. What would you miss the most lying in a hospital? Think about it. Stop and smell the roses. Take a moment right now and fill your lungs full of oxygen…go ahead, I’ll wait. do it just because you can. Someday it may not be so easy.
I believe some friends and family in my life have really stepped up this last year for me and really made a huge difference to me. One or more have changed my life for the better. Thank you!
And, while reading the Bible and trying to get to know God this year was not what I expected it to be, I did discover that God does things; simple things and big things. God is love and He does things. I can’t really say that reading the Bible has made me a better person (as evident by my twisted humor). After all, hypocrisy in some religion is what kept me, and many others, away from it I imagine. But I have become more aware and not so alone. There is always someone I can talk to now I’ve found.
So these are just some of the new discoveries since my eventful September 17 last year. I have tried to document several other things last year via this here blog. I hope you can find some of the things amusing.
Because ya gotta laugh, right? It is the best medicine!
And, I know that every day, me and you, have so much to live for, to be thankful for; more than we can ever imagine or appreciate.
So stop reading these blogs and go out and do something already! There is soooo much to live for!
I love you all! Thanks for your time….
“There might be more than you believe
There might be more than you and me
And there might be more than you can see
But it’s not my time, I’m not going
There’s a fear in me, it’s not showing
This could be the end of me
And everything I know.
But I won’t go….”