Where are my elves!
OK I have a quick Christmas question for you.
Did you hear one of Santa’s helpers went to see a therapist? Do you know why?
He had low elf-esteem!
OK, I will stop with the Christmas jokes.
Well if some of you think this post looks familiar its because I posted it last year. And the year before. But I am trying to catch my blog up to the Christmas season so I am pulling out all the Holiday Reblogs!
But, if you are like me, as Christmas draws near and the stress begins to rise around you, you can’t help but call out:
WHERE ARE MY ELVES?
How’s the Christmas shopping going?
I go by our mall everyday on the way to and from work. Let me tell you, it takes about 30 extra minutes to make it home once I hit that Christmas mall traffic nowadays. I wouldn’t go out in that gauntlet if you paid me. It’s insane! Good thing my wife buys all the Christmas presents or we find them online and have them brought to us. I’m just her lowly
Every Thanksgiving and weekends in December my wife tries to
guilt drag me to go shopping with her. Call me weak but I don’t have the patience for all those masses, time wasters, and crazy people out there. Every year she tries. And every year I stand my ground. So my Grinch-like, selfish self has developed a Top Ten Reasons why I think it’s crazy to step one toe into the crazy Christmas shopping pond, that I had to reinforce once again these past two weeks. Don’t get me wrong I LOVE Christmas traditions. But this is not one of them for me.
So what are your biggest things you hate about the Christmas shopping? Do they look like my Top 10 Reasons?
Top 10 Reasons Not To Go Weekend Christmas Shopping:
10. Who can focus on great gift buying with all this great football on?
9. I would rather be raking leaves! OK, that one is a toss up.
8. There are some really scary looking Santas at the Wal-Marts that look like they came from…ah..Wal-Mart.
7. All the great gifts for the people I need to buy for are hanging neatly on the ‘Gift Card display’ in the grocery store. Really! They asked for these.
6. There is NOBODY in the gym right now. I like working out when the Nobody’s are there
5. If I want to see spoiled
women kids fighting over toys I could just watch the ‘Real Housewives’ episodes.
4. My fragile self-worth can’t handle the standing in the long lines at the registers.
3. Shopping on-line! Let the stores bring your Christmas list to you!
2. Santa doesn’t stand in line! Where are my elves?
And the Number One reason to stay home Black Friday weekend:
1. Staying home to watch your favorite college team score the go ahead touchdown while your daughter cheers with all your same enthusiasm, Priceless!
OK, sometimes I have been known to ‘embellish’ a bit in this blog so I have to come clean. My wife actually did trick me into going Christmas shopping with her Black Friday (score one for Mom).
We had my parents in town this year so my wife and I tried to fit in a date (movie night). When it was over, the mall was almost closed so she asked for ‘my help’ in trying to find some bunk beds in Sears for the girls.
I fell for it!
WELL, Sears doesn’t carry bunk beds for kids, at least not in ours. But that didn’t stop us from canvasing the whole store 2x looking for them; and her trying to get me to pick gifts for the kids along the way.
Sneaky! Very sneaky!
Her IQ dwarfs mine (ok so does Dylan’s) in her sneakiness, which reminds me why you Should never Marry A Nerd. That was sarcasm Sheldon. If you watch the Big Bang you know what I mean.
So what do you love or hate about shopping for Christmas this time of year?
MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!
…to all my readers, where ever you are:
Nollaig Shona Dhuit!
Buone Feste Natalizie!
Shinnen omedeto. Kurisumasu Omedeto!
Sung Tan Chuk Ha!
Hristos se rodi!
God Jul and (Och) Ett Gott Nytt År!
Jutdlime pivdluarit ukiortame pivdluaritlo!