OUR LIFE IN 3D

Being a regular guy can be embarrassing…

I wanted to reach out real quick and let friends and family know everything went fine with my procedure so far. The radiologist says’ text book’. He said he inserted 95 radiation seeds in my prostate.

I came home yesterday wearing my catheter, didn’t sleep much but still got some rest, and got to see some great smiles on my girls. (good medicine!)

So today, I just got back from Dr. O’s office to have that pesky catheter removed. Like most games we play in our mind, this all was easier than I made it out to be all this time.

And I think many THANKS go out to YOU, and everyone else for your prayers, well wishes, healing powers and positive thoughts. You and the rest my Angels ROCK!

There were a few hiccups along the way though.

Like the first nurse yesterday who was to administer my IV needle. She said she wanted to get the ‘drama’ over early.

Being fit and as healthy as one can be with a few cancer cells in their belly, I have good veins for this. These needles don’t bother me. Yet she still chose to prick a vein on top of my arm (a.k.a. the hairy part) instead of  underneath it.

She apologized and laughed, “it will be like getting a wax job when they pull all this tape off with the needle.”

I was still thinking about the deed ahead of me and said, “if they don’t shave me in my land down under it will be like getting a Brazilian job there too !” Yikes!

She left and I had to wait some more for the next step, administering the anesthesia. My wife was with me at this time so we could text each other on our phones….in the room.

Now I am a regular guy. Ever since my healthy quest a few decades back I have always tried to eat healthy. And my bowel movement in the morning you could count on. But Monday I wasn’t allowed to eat anything. Although I did have to shower a few times with anti-bacteria soap.

So as the clock clicked on it became apparent I had to go. Maybe it was nerves, or regularity, or just fate. But I didn’t know if I should, given all the anti bacterial cleaning down there and that area being the place of operation in my procedure. Know what I mean?

BUT I also didn’t know what would happen to my muscle function once they knocked me out and I was afraid of pooping on all these high-priced needles filled with radiated seeds.  That would be some radiation poisoning!

So I talked it over with my wife and we called a nurse to get her thoughts. She said go ahead, showed me the bathroom and went to get some wash clothes for clean up.

Now keep in mind I have an IV bag attached to me at the time, hindering every process.

Well I went with little difficulty and tried to clean up in the bathroom as best I could, thinking infections and bacteria and other dirty words.

I get back to my waiting room and the nurse did bring back 2 sets of towels and wash cloths.

So, not wanting to take any chances with infection, I grabbed a wash cloth with the plan to wipe one more time and be sure no color appeared on the white linen.

Oh! And I am wearing those nice surgical gowns that only tie in the back.

So, holding my IV bag in my left hand, I reached around to the back and tried to pull that piece of the gown forward so I can hold it with the IV hand. Of course this left a large part of my front exposed.

I was standing right in front of the door and I knew, with my luck, a nurse would walk in as I am standing there, bent over, naked up front, wiping my butt in the back, my face looking out to anybody and everybody in the hallway.

So I did what anybody would do, I did a 180 turn around so they would only see my back side… and not my face.

So, I tried it again, trying to hold one gown flap back with my IV bag hand and check the wipe with the other. However this over sized gown was so big that the other side’s flap was covering my area I intended to check.

So trying to think through the logistics of my problem, I did a quick quarter turn to try to get the momentum of the wind to hold the flap up long enough where I could slide my wash clothed hand underneath it.

All most butt but no good this time. So I tried it again.

I got closer this time but still no good. Knowing I knew the secret on how to do this on my next attempt I thought I would try it one more time.

But  I heard this faint laughing.

I look up and see my wife standing there, laughing in hysterics to the point of tears. I said, “whats so funny?”

She said you look like a dog chasing his tail!  And she continued to laugh.

Well, I finally got it and the cloth came back clean. But still you wonder about bacteria.

So on the wall of this room was one of those gel alcohol soap dispensers that kill germs. So I thought, why not?

So I got a handful of this gel and tried the same trick as the wash cloth, successful on the first try.

Oh no! Bad idea!

That alcohol wanted to burn that fleshy area. I said “ouch, ouch ouch!” as I tried to wipe it off.

It continued to stay warm down there in Australia. But at least it should have been sanitary for the operation.

Other than that sensation there really has not been too many discomforts, other than the tube up my penis. I haven’t noticed any spidey senses, or increased strength, although I really didn’t get a good look at my jewels last night in the dark.

It appears the only enhanced sense I got was an increased sense of pee’ing, which came with its own accessory….

Stylin’ and Profilin’

Many of you have asked how the girls will handle me not being able to hold them on my lap. We told Dylan the night before my procedure and she started to cry. It was sad.

But then she pulled herself together and looking for a bright spot she asks if I’ll still be able to play with her.

Now by playing she means wrestling. You see every night she likes to stand on the foot stool of the sofa and dive at me like a body slam. I pretend to be knocked back and then we wrestle a little until I get her in a position to tickle her. Being tickled is a form of affection to this girl.

So every night we have done this around dinner time. But I am afraid that too has to wait a few months. She may be too big to do it when the time is up!

So that’s about it! I feel good. I’m up moving around. That’s right I went to Dunkin Donuts in the above attire after I had my catheter removed. Celebratin’ at Dunkin’!

I am still waiting for me to pee, sans the tube and poach. This is important or else the tube has to go back in. So I am drinking a coupla light beers in order to help me go.

Just kidding! Apple juice is the order of the day.

We were leaving the hospital yesterday around 2pm and I got my Hollywood ride in the wheelchair I was looking forward to.

I was helped on the chair and then helped in my car, in the passenger side this time. And as I carefully sat in there I had to find a place for my pee bag and just opted to hold it on my lap. Which added a whole nother dimension to holding your pee in the car.

Have a great week everyone!