A few days ago our kitty disappeared. Mom remembers seeing the front door left open a bit after I brought in the groceries. He was old, by cat numbers. We had him as long as we had been married.
My wife came home with him after a trip to her home town (quite undiscussed!) a few months before we got married. In fact, if I am ever at a loss for how long we had been married, come anniversary time, I just ask how old is the kitty?
So the girls are a little up set with their kitty being missing. We put a bowl of food for him by our front door and a blanket to sleep in the next night. The night before of course were those frigid arctic fronts going through town where the overnight lows were below freezing.
I didn’t hold out much hope for him but the girls still wanted to believe. Finally I told Dylan he may not be coming home. Her face sunk to sad. I explained he is old and how cold it got the previous night. Optimistic, or still not wanting to concede the inevitable, she offers, “Well God would watch over him and keep him safe, right?”
If it were only that easy Dylan.
Through some coaxing from good friends and at home, I have started reading the Bible at night. I have never done this, for no good reason other than I don’t like to read.
Go figure, I love to write but hate to read.
I started on this easy ‘Read the Bible in a year program’. Right now I am reading in Genesis, specifically where God and Moses are talking about freeing the Israelites out of slavery in Egypt. Previously I only knew this story from Charlton Heston and the 10 Commandments.
Like any Good Book, the Bible offers a whole lot more account than the movie did. What struck me was although God wanted to free His people out of bondage He first continuously hardened Pharaoh’s heart to not let them go.
God tells Moses to throw his staff on the ground and becomes a snake, plagues come of frogs, gnats and locusts. Each time Moses hopes this miracle will free his people. After all, since he started asking Pharaoh to “let my people go” Pharaoh made it that much harder on them in slavery.
“God, please let my people go!”
Desperate, Moses pleads with God to free his people as they were suffering so. God responds, He hardens Pharaoh’s heart so in the end His greatest miracle will be remembered forever and there will be no doubt to how great He is.
God could have freed the Israelites the first time with the first miracle but that would not have shown the extent of His greatness.
And so, while I was running for most of the morning this past Saturday, doing my 1/2 marathon thing I was thinking (I had some time to kill)….
Sometimes, Dylan, we don’t need to understand God’s plan. It may not make sense to us at the time. It may even seem mean or our prayers aren’t being answered. But that doesn’t mean it won’t be Great!
This concept led me to think of our troubles with infertility several years back. We sought the best fertility doctors in town in trying to have a family. They boasted how we ought to be ready for twins as they were that good!
The doctors created a “perfect embryo” then implanted it in my wife. We were finally going to have a family! But the embryo died.
We tried this again. The doctors made some adjustments. This time I /we prayed so hard; night and day, forceful begging and pleading for a child. The new embryo was implanted. This one ” couldn’t be better!” We prayed tirelessly. Yet the embryo died.
Undaunted and dieing to have a family we tried the IVF procedure one more time. Third times the charm, right? Everything went well. We prayed night and day, pleading to let this one work. Please God, let this one live!
We both fell silent for two days when we got the news.
I swore then and there I would never, ever pray again. Three years of praying and begging, and making deals. It doesn’t work. He doesn’t listen. Its a waste of time.
“God, please let my people go!”
Well I wouldn’t have this blog if ‘it was that easy.’If you have been following this blog for a little you know what amazing kids I am blessed with by now. God’s plan was GREAT! His plan is so much better than I ever could have imagined. So much better than I could have asked for! These two girls of ours are miracles from God.
Yes, he could have granted us our prayers the first time we went down the IVF road. Or the second. And we would have been very grateful. But what a skilled architect God was in fulfilling our dreams. And He has left an indelible impression in me, leaving no doubt to how great He is. A dream that will never be forgotten!Just like with Moses.
This past Saturday I ran my 1/2 marathon on a dare from a friend. Quite unexpectedly I got real emotional on the rain filled ride to the race that early morning. I teared up, making it even that much harder to see. And I screamed at the top of my lungs, “Thank you! Thank you God!”
Yes, it was rainy and wet and cold for this run. The temperature was 48 degrees when I woke up and still 48 when the race started and 48 degrees 2 hours later when I finished.
It rained most of those two hours I ran, making for less than ideal settings to excel in shorts with a soaked shirt and a soaked head. Many times I wanted to take the short road back to the finish line and call it a day and not finish. No one would blame me I thought, considering. But I thought, it sure beats the alternative.
It sure beat lying in a hospital for surgery for the removal of an organ..or two. Or taking chemotherapy tablets or radiation. It sure beat staying at home with a compromised lifestyle because cancer had taken part of my body. Yes, running in the cold rain, unprepared, for 12 miles wasn’t so bad..considering the alternatives. I may not have been in the best shape of my life but I finished the 13 mile run!
When I first found out I had cancer back in May, it is safe to say I was scared. I was scared of what was going to happen to my future. Or if I even had a future. But I never blamed God. I knew he had a plan for me. I was still scared after all, I didn’t know what that plan was! But I knew it was part of His plan for me.
Looking at Dylan and Skylar that afternoon, I can’t help but think and get just a little bit excited about how great a plan He has for me this time!