Desperately Strong Like Susan
I got the reports back from my tests last week.
What tests you ask?
I had to do a CAT Scan and a Bone Scan last week to see if my cancer spread to my lymph nodes or bones. I was at an all-time low last week (as an old friend used to say). The fact that I had to do these tests in the first place was depressing. I am too fit, too young, have too many darling young ladies looking to me for answers to have cancer. How can this be?
And the doctor wants to see where else it went? I wasn’t supposed to have any cancer in the first place! I wasn’t prepared for good news; it’s not how these last months have gone.
So I walked into my doctor’s appointment yesterday prepared to see what else they found. My wife and I were both very nervous, with the uneasiness about our futures. The doctor finally walked into our waiting room and announces, “I have some good news!”
You made a mistake?
Well, the news wasn’t that good. The doctor said the cancer had not spread to any other part of my body. He said, what he found was that I have arthritis in my big toe (no surprise) as well as some in the swell of my back. That was news to me but, honestly, if you would see me get out of bed some mornings it would be no surprise. I just associated it to old age.
But in the end, the good news was a BIG relief. I sighed a heavy sigh. No other cancer cells anywhere. I can have it all removed. I felt like I had a new lease on life; lots of great, great feelings.
Now I feel like I am walking on sunshine, just like Katrina! Que the video for my actual mood…..
So my doctor laid out some options for me. Options! I now have options!
I can have surgery or one of two forms of radiation. The end result is the same but the side effects will vary. You would do me a favor and NOT look up side effects to these procedures. Trust me, they are humbling. But I do have the options. This situation can be cured. I have breath in my lungs at the end of this. And I STILL I do still get to see the smiles on my 3 girls and provide for them for years to come. And I would take that over a few side effects lasting a month or two any day, any week.
So it was a bit of good news Tuesday. It felt like a burden lifted from my shoulders. I was happy when I left the this Doctor’s office for the first time, ever! Let’s do this I thought !
You know you feel kinda naked, lying on those x-ray tables, figuratively. I thought these images will show ALL my nasty little secrets. What else will they find? Ulcers? Blood Clots? Other Tumors?
You know what? The reports told me my 50+ year old body is mostly “unremarkable”. Unremarkable! That’s what the reports said. A mere mortal after all.
For grins, here is a listing of some of my naked secrets revealed by my two high priced body scans; such an invasion of my ultimate privacy…
- “Lung bases are clear” Thank you Lung Association!
- my “gallbladder, spleen, pancreas, and adreanal glands are unremarkable“
- “bladder is normal” Phew, I was worried about that based on all my ‘supplemements’. I wonder if ‘normal’ is better or worse than ‘unremarkable’?
- “bowel dilation….there is no free fluid or free gas” …despite what my wife will tell you..
- “the (my) prostate seminal vesicles are grossly unremarkable.” What’s up with that? That’s the way it reads. It sounds like a ‘whole lot of nothing’ concerning my prostate….grossly unremarkable The doctor says it is sick and wants it for his collection.
- “Focal increase uptake in the right foot around the (big toe) …degenerative osteoarthritis or inflammatory arthritis such as gout.” Gout?! WTH? Gout?
- what about my 70 year old shoulders….” a mild uptake in shoulders over some sumpthing sumpthing joints, a frequent degenerative pattern. This is symmetric.”Degenerative? That’s it for these worn out joints? Degenerative?
- and the best one of all, “No areas are suspicious for metastatic disease related to the patient’s prostate cancer.” Translation, these degenerative old bones don’t show any sign of cancer. Yeah!!
So it appears I am unremarkable! Good news in the medical imaging field I suppose. It’s still a bit of a bubble-burster when all my life I have striven to be a little extra-ordinary.
As far as thoughts and prayers go, I have one thought…
You want more good news?
Have you been outside recently? It’s practically summer! We’re making plans to go to the beach this weekend!
Anyone who has kids knows the summer solstice is practically upon us as the kids are waking up earlier and going to bed later and later each night. So break out the flip flops and come mingle your toes with some sand this weekend with us. Its Summer time! Let’s work on some tan lines!
More good news?
I was paying bills last night and I looked out my window. Here is my 5 year old daughter trying to wrestle her 7 year old male neighbor to the ground. He was just standing there. It was Dylan that kept on falling off of him to the ground. It looked silly.
I just stared out the window for a minute or two. It was endearing to watch as our first miracle child is getting older, turning into a playful and wonderful little girl. PLUS, I know how hard she can body-slam! Trust me! I felt I had to watch out for the little boy. He was wearing glasses!
But here in our new address she has kids her age on both side of us, and many more riding their bikes down our street. Our girls can have so many friends here in our new location. Schoolmates…. in the ‘burbs. It does my heart good to think of the possibilities.
That is……for 5 or 6 more years…. until this 7 year old boy turns into a teenager…. just 2 years older than Dylan.
Someone find me a realtor!
I wanted to send a shout out to fellow blogger, Susan Lindau (Susan’s Wild Ride) who is undergoing surgery to remove cancer in her one breast on Friday. Susan is the one who frequently offer ‘blogger mixers’ where fellow bloggers can mix and mingle and meet new friends.She’s a lot of fun, always upbeat and takes you on her wild ride of life.
If you are inclined to pray for other people please remember Susan in your thoughts today. While there are cures available now its never easy when dealing with cancer; an emotional Wild Ride.
Susan is heading into her procedure fully optimistic, with grand plans after its all over. You can’t keep this woman down!
So good luck Susan! I hope to be Susan Strong when my time comes too.
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I think about you daily and how you are doing. Sorry to hear about the pain, I hope it is not unexpected and that it is all part of the healing. Radioactive seeds ~ Cool? I understand they are going to deposit about 60-75 of them in my piddly prostate. I will be knocked out in a quite unglamourous positon. But it sure beats the alternative! I think about you sharing your fun pictures, between the shower scene with tubes and the potted plants. I don’t think I can replicate those fun pics with my condition but still have a few fun stories to share. If it doesn’t hurt to laugh let me know and I will send a few your way. Keep healing my friend! Take your time and do it right. The rest of the world can wait. ((((cyber hugs back at cha!)))
Thank you so much for the inclusion when you are fighting your own battle. I am still experiencing some pain and have to limit my computer time. I did your good news that you don’t have to go through surgery and will be seeded with radiation. How cool is that??? I do believe in miracles and believe we have both experienced them. Like you said, it’s not our time!
Thanks again! ((((Cyber hugs)))))
Can you imagine being considered unremarkable and that being great news? We celebrated! This weekend we hope to do our version of Memorial Day weekend with a trip to the beach. That line about my big toe? That could be your big toe too! Maybe its gout! 🙂 Have the best weekend Jenn! Thanks for dropping by 🙂
what a relief!! such great news – who ever thought that being unremarkable (even grossly unremarkable!) would be such a joyous event?? hope you have a great weekend with the family. : )
Sandy, I only mentioned it once. And I am not battling at all! The sign came from a blood test earlier this year and that took me down the path of discovery via a few doctor specialists. Without that test in my annual physical I never would have known. I feel great right now. In fact I am trying to plan the surgery after a family vacation this summer. Its just they will have to let the air out of my tires for a week or so after that. Thanks for your thoughts though! Have a great weekend!
You know what….I was viewing your comment and I thought that looked off when I read it. Darn spell check doesn’t work inthe title bar I guess. ~ Yes you ALWAYS make me smile! Thanks for treating me like a regular Joe. I am not looking for any sympathey at all. ..maybe just some bar drinks 🙂
Aaaannnd…just to prove that I don’t want to treat you any different than anyone else, I’m here to let you know you spelled “desperately” wrong. 😀 Now, aren’t you glad were blog buddies??????
(I hope you’re smiling at me being an ass.)
I must be out of the loop (or under a rock) because I had no idea you were battling. I have prayers reserved just for you.
Thank you Luanne! You know, my purpose of blogging this was not to tug at anyone’s heart chains but to give some friends and family some updates so they can feel better about the situation too. I was trying to put a humorous spin on it. If you took a look at Susan’s blog you can see she looks at it the same way. What else can you do? Thanks for your prayers and your thoughts! I and we appreciate them very much!
Thanks Michelle! I appreciate your thoughts. Yes I reckon those ‘remarkables’ are good things too. I keep hoping a blogger nurse friend will step in and tell me what the word is code for. I hope you are feeling better. Thanks for dropping by!
Thanks Terry. I don’t feel sick at all. Infact I am trying to plan the surgery after our next family vacation in July. But I do appreciate your thoughts. Have a great weekend! Take pictures…
Andy, I am so happy for you. I teared up big time reading this remarkable post. Many hugs to you! Still praying for you and adding Susan!!
I will keep Susan in my prayers. I reckon all those unremarkable thing are good things then… Keep strong, keep praying and keep enjoying everyday. You are in my prayers too.
Hope you get better! My prayers are with you.