Guess what everyone? The Holidays came a bit early today! Yes, one of the highlights of the upcoming holidays has arrived already…..our shipments at work for the Christmas Chocolate and White Chocolate covered pretzels. Yes, part of my job is to
sample warehouse and distribute these delicacies to all the area grocery stores until there shelves can’t hold any more.
Then, after the holidays are over, all the stores make our sales people take all the chocolate pretzels off these shelves and then they return them to ME! I’ll eat a bag a day for the following two months. Oh, how I need to get running again!
This weekend, to my amusement and also my chagrin, I noticed someone found my blog by doing a search for,
‘what to do when so far your life has been an embarrassment’.
Really? That led someone to my poor ol’ family blog?
Hey, I have enjoyed my life pretty much so far. And while I certainly think I could have done better or made some better decisions along the way, I hope I have never sounded that pathetic in my posts. Maybe it’s part of my style of humor?
But it made me wonder how that word search ever found my blog? Me? Mr. Cheer and Optimism!
The next day, my puzzlement continued as the search, ‘o no daddy 3d sex pics’ led someone to my blog somehow. Hey, I was only joking about the ‘Jumbo Hot Dogs’ pic in my Prostate Update post. I hope the WordPress police don’t think I am somehow going ‘Burlesque’ over here.
It also has me wondering what kind of people are led to my blog via these bizarre searches? Yikes!
So I checked my Stats ‘Search’ page for the last year. Guess how else you can find my 3D web site?
Did you know if you did a search for “have time for a quickie?” you might find my blog? Yep that happend last year.
If you did a search for on “gittin old… i very quietly confided to my best friend that i was having an affair” you might find my blog.
If you were wondering about, “big tit cream bi,bang bros 30 min” and did a search you might find my blog.
If you Googled, “are runners exhibitionists undressing at end of race” you might find my blog.
If you were looking to purchase a brothel or refinance your home in a fun way and goggled, “mortgage calculator sexy” you have probably found my blog.
If one morning you were feeling really hung over and worried what happened the night before and so you decided to Google, “if i went through someone’s yard would tire marks match mine?” or “lost my big toe” you could have found my blog. A few people did evidently.
Similarly, if your wife travelled to Africa on a girls vacation and you heard it might have gotten out of hand and decided to find out for yourself by Googling, “my wife exhibitionist in Egypt” you might find my blog.
If you are young and in love and don’t have a shower and wondering if there is any harm in this by searching, “i’m willing to risk the cooties if you are” you could have found my blog.
If you have heard strange stories about your estranged father and your own suspect upbringing and decided to Google, “daddys naked infrontoff the kids pics” you might find my blog.
If you heard of a dairy tragedy and wanted to see for yourself by Googling, “40,000 lbs of icecream on the highwasy” you might have found my blog.
If you found out your best friend can’t keep a secret and followed up by searching, “i very quietly confided to my best friend that i was having an affair” you probably found my blog.
If your favorite show is ‘Unforgettable’ and decided to find out more about its star by Googling, “poppy montgomery sex scene” or “poppy montgomery in diapers” you probably found my blog.
If you wondered ANYTHING about Jessica Alba, trust me, ANYTHING……you probably found my blog. (I guess Salma Hayek fans are more clean minded)
If you were worried about bad behaving Nursery Rhyme characters at your nearby Fantasyland and Googled, “stoned humpty dumpty” you probably found my blog.
And, in a strangely ironic twist to this sad post, if you did a search for, “if i haven’t scared you off yet” you might have found this blog.
And if you guessed I am no Jeff Foxworthy, by copying his brand for my post you….. are probably right.
Sadly, all the above lines were searches that led to my kid’s blog, IN 3D (sigh).
So, what can one do when one finds out their blog ‘so far might be an embarrassment’?
Do you care to share any funny or crazy search terms from your blog?