OUR LIFE IN 3D

The Home of Daddy's Day Dare! ~ I am just trying to stay above water

Have time for a quickie?

Guess what everyone? The Holidays came a bit early today! Yes, one of the highlights of the upcoming holidays has arrived already…..our shipments at work for the Christmas Chocolate and White Chocolate covered pretzels. Yes, part of my job is to sample warehouse and distribute these delicacies to all the area grocery stores until there shelves can’t hold any more.

pretzels

Then, after the holidays are over, all the stores make our sales people take all the chocolate pretzels off these shelves and then they return them to ME! I’ll eat a bag a day for the following two months. Oh, how I need to get running again! 

pretzells

This weekend, to my amusement and also my chagrin, I noticed someone found my blog by doing a search for,

‘what to do when so far your life has been an embarrassment’

Really? That led someone to my poor ol’ family blog?

Hey, I have enjoyed my life pretty much so far. And while I certainly think I could have done better or made some better decisions along the way, I hope I have never sounded that pathetic in my posts. Maybe it’s part of my style of humor? 

But it made me wonder how that word search ever found my blog? Me? Mr. Cheer and Optimism!

The next day, my puzzlement continued as the search, ‘o no daddy 3d sex pics’ led someone to my blog somehow. Hey, I was only joking about the ‘Jumbo Hot Dogs’ pic in my Prostate Update post. I hope the WordPress police don’t think I am somehow going ‘Burlesque’ over here. 

It also has me wondering what kind of people are led to my blog via these bizarre searches? Yikes!

google

So I checked my Stats ‘Search’ page for the last year. Guess how else you can find my 3D web site?

Did you know if you did a search for “have time for a quickie?” you might find my blog?  Yep that happend last year.

If you did a search for on “gittin old… i very quietly confided to my best friend that i was having an affair” you might find my blog.

If you were wondering about, “big tit cream bi,bang bros 30 min” and did a search you might find my blog.

If you Googled, “are runners exhibitionists undressing at end of race” you might find my blog. 

If you were looking to purchase a brothel or refinance your home in a fun way and goggled, “mortgage calculator sexy” you have probably found my blog. 

If one morning you were feeling really hung over and worried what happened the night before and so you decided to Google, “if i went through someone’s yard would tire marks match mine?” or “lost my big toe” you could have found my blog. A few people did evidently.

Similarly, if your wife travelled to Africa on a girls vacation and you heard it might have gotten out of hand and decided to find out for yourself by Googling, “my wife exhibitionist in Egypt” you might find my blog. 

If you are young and in love and don’t have a shower and wondering if there is any harm in this by searching, “i’m willing to risk the cooties if you are” you could have found my blog.

If you have heard strange stories about your estranged father and your own suspect upbringing and decided to Google, “daddys naked infrontoff the kids pics” you might find my blog.

If you heard of a dairy tragedy and wanted to see for yourself by Googling, “40,000 lbs of icecream on the highwasy” you might have found my blog.

 If you found out your best friend can’t keep a secret and followed up by searching, “i very quietly confided to my best friend that i was having an affair” you probably found my blog. 

If your favorite show is ‘Unforgettable’ and decided to find out more about its star by Googling, “poppy montgomery sex scene” or “poppy montgomery in diapers” you probably found my blog. 

If you wondered ANYTHING about Jessica Alba, trust me, ANYTHING……you probably found my blog. (I guess Salma Hayek fans are more clean minded) 

If you were worried about bad behaving Nursery Rhyme characters at your nearby Fantasyland and Googled, “stoned humpty dumpty” you probably found my blog. 

And, in a strangely ironic twist to this sad post, if you did a search for, “if i haven’t scared you off yet” you might have found this blog. 

And if you guessed I am no Jeff Foxworthy, by copying his brand for my post you….. are probably right.

IF you do a search for Jeff Foxworthy........you might find this blog

IF you do a search for Jeff Foxworthy……..you might find my blog

Sadly, all the above lines were searches that led to my kid’s blog, IN 3D (sigh). 

So, what can one do when one finds out their blog ‘so far might be an embarrassment’?

Do you care to share any funny or crazy search terms from your blog?

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25 thoughts on “Have time for a quickie?

  1. me peeing
    having a chipped tooth allows me to make sure my brother in dental school has been studying hard lol…learned a lot about root canals, crowns and (that was searched 20 times!)
    my dentist is an asshole
    evil crazy bitch
    do bees fart
    🙂

    • lol…bees fart? Too funny. Do they? Isn’t it crazy what some people search for? I want to say ‘ick!’ just for being touched by the thoughts / searches that bring them here. ~ I hope you are doing great! Thanks for adding in!

      • Exactly! lol(abees) I did write a post titled, “Could a Fart Change a Life?” I think that’s how it all came together. The question is who wants to know that?? All is great here. Sounds like you are well too!

        • And so thats where you got your profile alias, Ms. LoL bees? :p That was cute. How did i miss that post???

        • Actually, it was an evolution of a nickname I had when I was younger. It’s originally from Lola. I might add, I was Lolabees way before anyone started saying LOL. 😉 But it does explain how lol, bees, and fart lead one to my site! I think your search items are better than mine though.

  2. People continually find me by searching sex with Dad but I know what post that came from. It was my mother’s day post where I thanked her for having sex with dad because I was born!

    • Too cute! Did you put that in a card? ;p Yes its fun to check every now and again but that first one really puzzled me about ‘my life being an embarrassment’. I can’t think of where that comes out on my blog. As always thanks for dropping by Di. Have a great week!

  3. This is really funny, Andy! I have never looked at search terms for my blog, now I will be sure to check. “Lost my big toe”, really? Why? Don’t they realize that you are father of the year and there is no way you would have anything to say about “big tit cream”, or do you? 🙂

    • If you check your Stats go to Search then click on Summary then you can go back a year or more. Sometimes they are funny. But I couldn’t understand why that first one would lead them to my blog. I guess you have never been ‘Search Bombed’? Beware my search bomb then! Yes, what the heck is big tit cream or that other stuff on that line….although…no I can’t go there. 🙂 Thanks for dropping by Maria! Has your trip started yet?

      • I can’t wait to check my stats. It will be the perfect thing to do while on my 35 flights to California tomorrow! Going from Boston to Miami to LA to Monterey. AY! I will begin the trip with a mimosa and go from there. Hope you have a good week! 🙂

        • oh my week will not be as good as yours my friend. It appears you are going to top my morning too…Maria Mimosa! What a long way to get to your destination. Good luck with all the flights! Take pictures!

  4. I feel quite excluded! My weirdest search term was for Edith Bunker.

    • 🙂 Consider yourself lucky I guess. I don’t know if I want some of the people looking up ‘bust cream’ visiting my blog. Maybe I can lay a Search Bomb on you too. Have a great day Ms. Peace & Love! Thanks for adding in…

  5. Hahahahahaha!!!! This was the perfect blog for my morning. Great way to start back to work after a long weekend.
    I’m kind of intrigued as to what searches will have brought people to my blog.

  6. I bet you have some good ones as your topics on posts go far and wide. Share ’em if you want! Have a great ‘rest of your week’….

  7. Nice job eating chocolate 🙂
    The only one of my blog that called my attention was
    “boy tell little girl he gonning to com inside her stories”
    yet nothing happened at the end.

  8. Oh Ms. Aurora, they pay me to eat so many things… that’s why I need to run…chips, pretzels, cookies, tortilla chips (sigh) I’m a pig. Nothing happened at the end? did you write in an ending then? I hope you are doing well AuAu! As always, thanks for dropping by…

  9. I should have been keeping track…makes for funny stuff. I had mixed feelings about somebody’s google yesterday of “Frederick’s of Hollywood Catalog” which brought them to my beach. When I saw it, I blurted out a bit of Robin Thicke (hey-hey-hey!). Then I blushed.

    • I imagine they were searching for ‘Angels’ on your beach. But you gotta wonder how one’s blog shows up this way. I try these same searchs and I never see my blog. Maybe I should try a search for your Fredericks link and see what post it takes one to. ~ Thanks for dropping by SSM! I hope your day is a great one!

  10. I never look at the search stuff, it’s always so very weird. Though not so weird as the words sexy and mortgage in any kind of conjunction.

  11. Awesome post and those chocolate covered pretzels are delicious!

    • Thanks Ms D Anna. How. Many boxes should I put you down for? I can t see you eating too many of them though….I will spare you the cal s on the lable. (I so lose respect for myself at that time of year!) Have great weekend Ms D. Always great to hear from you….

  12. Thanks for giving me my laugh for the day. And I was disappointed when people searched for “competitive women.” I have nothing on you my friend. 🙂

    Nancy

    • Oh Nancy, you make my blog sound so racy! Those searches are amusing though. I just hope some of those people don t stay too long. Competitive women ‘ sounds like a better read. Maybe you need a good fun search bomb too! Thanks for dropping by Nancy! Have. a great. Weekend…

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