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Archive for the category “DYLANism’s”

DYLANism: That’s not roses…

To bring you up to speed, we have been working on manners lately in our house, especially in the expulsion of gas, trying to instill that its not as funny as they would believe and to always say, “excuse me”. Mommy says they get that from my side of the family.

Also, Dylan has taken to the habit of falling asleep in my bed when she goes to bed. Its probably wrong of us to allow this right now but its the path of least resistance at bed time.

When I come to bed I pick her up and move her to her bed. She’s usually so asleep I can either cradle her in front of me or put her on my shoulder and she’ll never wake up.

Last night was no exception. I went to bed by first clearing her bed and pulling the covers down. Then, I went to my bedroom and found her sleeping soundly. I scooped her up by cradling her this time. I slid one hand under her shoulders and the other hand under her bum.

I held her tight as to not disturb her or whack her head on the bed post (again). Its not easy lately as she is literally getting bigger each night it seems. But truly, this is one of the highlights of my day as I take this child, all innocent in my arms, to her bed.

Last night however, just as I reached the arch of my doorway she really pooted in the palm of my hand. I mean it was a flat-smack in the middle of my hand good three second relief…. in the middle of my hand! I felt set  up.

I looked down and this little cherub was still asleep. But a second later I reached her doorway and her eyes opened in a squint, seemingly to catch my reaction. And then she cracked an itty-bitty smile, before her eyes went shut again. She got me good!

I went back to my bed and I asked mommy, “Did you hear what Dylan just did? She pooted in my hand as I took her to bed!”

Mommy responded in her half-asleep stupor, “She’s probably been planning it for years.”

Now I feel better!

DYLANism: Those meddling kids!

First, I have to start off by saying that the girls go to the local library every week for story time. Then they come home with a handful of videos. Well for the last two weeks or so they have brought home a Scooby Doo video, full of small episodes from the Saturday morning fame. In fact, when she plays pretend now she sometimes asks me to call her Daphne and she calls me Fred. 

So this past Sunday we were going to get some ice cream. I ducked in my closet to get some shoes. Dylan, following me on my tail, sees a plum red (awful IMHO) cocktail dress of my wife’s. It was a Christmas present last year. Dylan looks at the dress and says, “Daddy, when’s Mommy ever gonna wear this dress?”

She’s into dresses now. 

I shrugged my shoulders with a chuckle, “I don’t know Dylan.” 

So Dylan chimes in, either getting, or not getting my smirk, “Halloween? She could wear it Trick or Treating.” 

I laughed to myself and said, “Maybe.” 

So I went out to get my keys. They were not at the usual spot. I asked, “Dylan, have you seen my car keys?” 

No Daddy” she responds. And so we went to look for them in my car. Dylan ran ahead. 

We got to my car, Dylan popped in the front seat and said, “I don’t see them Daddy.” 

I looked in the ignition switch and sure enough they were not there. I said, “OK Dylan lets go back inside. I have to see if I can find those keys if we’re going to go. I don’t know where they can be now.” 

Dylan hops out of the car, and looks at me, shrugging her shoulders and offers, “looks like we got ourselves another mystery on our hands!” 

Now if we could only find the keys to the Mystery Machine!  

Does that mean there’s no ice cream?

DYLANism: What’s that in your pocket?

This morning I woke up and got up for breakfast. I made it all the way to the shower before either of our kids woke up. Dylan usually wakes up before I do but she seems to be running a bit of a fever the past two days and so has slept a little bit later.

I got out of the shower, dried off, and started the rest of my routine. Dylan walked in our bathroom, all quiet, sleepy and passive, about the same time Mom rotated into the shower from her nightly slumber. Luckily,  I was able to get my underwear on before Dylan turned the corner.

Dylan stood there watching me brush my teeth in my underwear. When I was done she asked, “is that a pocket Daddy?” looking at the sewn fly in my boxers.

Now, I realize the bulk of my readers are female but I have to guess you know what athletic boxers look like, so I will spare you the description, and how the fly is sewn on to the front.  🙂 For those of you that can’t imagine, I would just like to leave you with the adjectives: snug, majestic, and Micheal Jordon.

OK, I would like to leave you with that description but it wouldn’t be entirely true. And I know Micheal Jordan isn’t exactly an adjective but Hanes is.

Dylan left the door hanging wide open for a witty reply however with the ‘pocket‘ question. But, as I looked over my shoulder to see Mommy looking at me in a somewhat unglamorous position, after staggering into  the shower room (she rarely opens her eyes when she makes this trip), I figured I better behave.

I replied, “why yes Dylan it is a pocket?”

“What’s it for Daddy?”

The one liners are just sitting on the tip of my tongue but rolling with it I told her, “Well I can put my keys in there. Or my wallet…..Or both.”

Dylan deduces, ” Isn’t it hard to find there Daddy?”  (thanks sport)

I agreed, “Well that’s the idea Dylan” as I looked over to Mommy for approval.

Mommy just shook her head and flushed her face into the palms of her hands in disbelief.

I don’t know what she was shaking her head about? I was proud of myself for keeping the conversation to a ‘G’ rating and yet still a wee bit amusing (pardon the pun)

So, to all you new parents out there, you have these conversations  to look forward too!

No, there’s no money in there…

DYLANism: a learning experience

Our two year old was in her bedroom. Mommy was trying to undress her and get her PJ’s on. Resisting all of Mom’s coaching, our two year old finally threw something at her sister.

Mommy immediately corrected Skylar saying, “There is no throwing things in the house” as she smacked Skylar’s hand. Skylar instantly began to cry.

Dylan, being the great and caring big sister that she has been, walked over to the wailing Skylar. In a comforting manner, she patted her little sister’s hand and told her, “Life’s tough sweetie.”

This girl is ALL heart. Have a great weekend everyone!

Psychologist is in 5 cents please

DYLANism: Caption This

I am sorry if any of you got a 1 – 2 punch with the Christmas Video today. It was an accident and was supposed to be loaded to the VodPod widget on the right. Either VodPod or I messed the whole thing up. Hmmm?

So I apologize for loading your Inbox’s today. Some family and friends actually said they enjoyed the Christmas vid. But it is way to long to subject innocent blog readers to I think. If I had to subject some creative bloggers to watch a video it would have to be a good one and a lot shorter! But it made me think, which is my favorite kid video?

I can’t chose. They all have some cute and personal value to them. I thought my favorite must be the one that I have watched the most over time.

So if you can stomach somebody’s home movies here is one of my all-time fav’s. When I sent this out the first time to family and friends I just watched it over and over again. Maybe it was because I was a new father. Or maybe because I felt like such a lucky father. I dunno. But the video has been locked in my computer for a few years now.

I needed to post it to Youtube in order to post it here.  Dylan doesn’t say anything in this DYLANism however. So if you can watch this vid can some of you creative people help me come up with a title for it? I am curious what minds greater than mine might think of?

Have a fabulous weekend everyone!

Can you think of a good title for this video?

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