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GUEST POST: Hans On Marketing Company

I wanted to step back from my what I normally try to do here in 3D for a moment. Like many of you, I get many proposals from outside people and companies offering to write Guest Posts for my blog. Normally I quickly dismiss these requests; unless they want to pay me large sums up money upfront.

But I did receive one request last week that I seriously did consider. After all, as you look around, you certainly can’t argue with the success of this company. Its ideas and concepts are practically household items that are cleverly reinvented to help others sell, move, and distribute their products for the benefit of all.

I know many of you have outside companies or projects you maintain on the side, whether it is a book publishing company, fitness services or products or software companies that you are always looking for more sales from.

So, with that in mind, I thought this Guest Post might be beneficial to you, or all of you. The rest of you I hope you please don’t hate as I try to spread a little good will for some of my readers.

So without further delay, please let me introduce you to Hans, of the Hans On Marketing Company (HOMC) from the European country of Arendelle. Take it away Hans!


Hello everyone in 3D Land, as Andy said, my name is Hans and I represent the marketing company of Hans On Marketing Company, where we promise you we can sell ANYTHING! That’s right, I said my staff can sell ANYTHING you can imagine.

We have had success with many companies, large and small, selling all types of products and services all over the world. And we think we can do the same for you!

Companies have come to us to sell bedroom suites, food, clothing, vacations, linen, family activities, and much more. And we have sold these items. HOMC has increased sales for many companies 10 fold and gotten rid of unused or out dated inventories.

It’s true. You can believe Hans!

We have even sold things as impossible to sell as used birthday cakes for a small bakery by putting our simple spin on them from our motherland of Arendelle.

froz used cake

In a different situation a large cereal company asked us if we could help them sell some of their old, unsuccessful inventories of cereal that were aging in their warehouses.

We took a look at it and found it fit into our Marketing model and guaranteed success to that company; throwing a “Collector’s Edition” logo on the box for good measure.

froz cereal

We have similar success with old board games, ones that everyone knows but whose sales are sagging and in TROUBLE. Revamped their outsides, put some Arendelle twists on the insides and voila…brand new board games and tea sets:

froz trouble games

One company concerned with kid’s health and fitness came to us. They were concerned kids today were spending too much time inside, playing these same board games or computers, and asked us how we could get kids outside again to run and exercise.

Our Marketing minds put their thoughts together. We agreed to the challenge. We said, “Trust us!”.

So we took old sneakers, forgotten in the backs of closets and made them trendy, sparkly and ‘fun to run’ in using our patented Arendelle marketing:

froz old sneaks

Plus we revamped some kids bikes, made them everyone’s favorite Arendelle colors, and lined them with the faces of our lovely models creating kids bikes they will never let go of, keeping the kids outside having some fun…

froz bikeWe have also worked with parents and kids in the Back To School theme, making coveted items that will be the envy of all youngsters going back to school with bags, lunch boxes and book covers:

froz bags n box

We created other novelty, must have items with our Arendelle niche marketing. Items such as purses, diaries, and very coveted chapter books….

froz purse

Also we created and marketed….Back To School fashions for all the ‘in-crowd‘…

froz dress

…to even night-time attire for young ones, making going to bed fun again.

froz PJs

Bedtime fun?

Why we have actually created entire bedroom designs for the little girls who have everything, where just not any gift will do for the young heiresses. Take a look at our designer sheets, blankets and pillow cases:

froz bed spread

That last particular marketing campaign ended with such success for our clients that the Bed Bath and Yonder actually came to us, asking if we could help capture some of the money spent in a younger market segment for them in their stores.

Never one to turn down a challenge, or big company contracts, we told them,

Trust us!”

Our marketing geniuses came up with new twists on common items that would have the younger market stereotypes standing, waiting in line at the door, being the first to buy these great ‘new’ bathroom items. Items such as shower curtains:

froz shower curtain

Shower curtains and matching bath towels with hoodies:

froz bath towels

We even put our unique twist on getting kids to wash their dirty little faces with Arendelle soap and wash cloths:

froz hand soap

Need further proof of our marketing supremacy?

Look what we did when a local candy company came to us and told us about their marketing problem.

This age old family business told us there was no way to sell their surplus of Jelly Beans this year in the always competitive shelf space for Easter candy.

We said, “Trust us and your trusty family recipe jelly beans will be not just stocked on the grocery shelves but flying off of them!

froz Jelly beans

And it worked! Here are some laying on the floor…

We have since reached out to other forms of media, such as TV, and extended one of our wonderful Arnedelle models to help revamp ratings of struggling or inconspicuous TV shows. Here one of our models struts her stuff and graces one unknown dancer into stardom. Yes, even with TV, helping our clients reach top sales is an Open Door. We are even considering doing a movie featuring our two top models from Arendelle.

So that is our portfolio of proof on how our Hans On Marketing Company can help you and your goods or services. Don’t delay! Contact our Customer Service staff and we can tell you how we can help you increase sales and revenues with our Arendelle niche marketing.

Additionally, as our global models, Anna and Elsa, continue to grow in popularity we can promise you an exclusive TV or Internet commercial.

The world can see our models endorse YOUR goods or services, live, for everyone to take note.

Trust me..

froz gif trust me

These girls will stand behind your product and work tirelessly for the good of our great customers. They love all the world-wide attention and notoriety they have achieved, as well as for the success for the companies they have marketed. The world can’t get enough of seeing them on anything and everything that can be sold, bartered or traded. They feel their dedication to selling your product far out weighs their own personal time or taking vacations to see family and friends. They won’t be satisfied until their pretty faces adorn every product out there world-wide.

Right girls? froz gif




Good Grief, Charlie Brown!


Yes, so sorry nothing original has crept across this blog in a few weeks. It’s beginning to look like Turner Classic Movies with the reblogging of all the classics. While I have done a few guest posts for other’s blog sites recently, I know I have done very little here to keep you entertained. Sorry bud! 

My creativity has just been zapped. All the details and processes of selling this darn house has me focusing on that instead of funny anecdotes from two cute kids. 

We are ready to embark on the house prep to help sell this money pit we live in. Next week the painters come in to paint our living room, hallways, and master bedroom. Which means this weekend we have to ‘move out’ of those rooms and jam the furniture, TV (!) and computer (!!!) in the garage for a week.  Ugh! Our house is settling and our contractor is trying to disguise some of those signs too. Is that wrong of me? 

With the house continuing to settle, or sink, I actually went underneath the house last weekend to see what’s going on. I noticed that the two main beams in the middle of the house (girders), that it sits on are actually splintering where they are coming in contact with the cement piers they rest on. I am no contractor but that doesn’t look good. So I guess I’ll have to repair them too if I expect anyone to buy this beast. 

Monday was our annual termite inspection to maintain our termite bond (insurance). This past summer I built a new flagstone patio behind my house, tearing down the old, rotting wooden deck. The termite guys says I tore up all his treatment. He needs $300 for him to come out and retreat that whole back side on my house in order to maintain my termite bond; a necessity in these parts to sell a house.  Yes, the house was not the only backside getting treated there it felt like! Everyone is trying to get one more piece of me it feels. 


Then, yesterday when I woke up, I had no hot water. (!!!) Yes, you guessed it, the hot water heater decided to quit while we slept. So, I had to fork out another $800 so that we could shower this morning. If you are wondering, no, I did not take a shower yesterday before I went to work. I held my head under an icy waterfall from the shower head in order to cultivate some image of ‘freshness’ before I hit work. 

What’s next? 

That’s the feeling as I went to bed last night and listened to some rain water drip somewhere from yesterday’s storms. Was the dripping inside or out? 

Some not-so-bad news, new neighbors moved in yesterday. They have a 5 year old little girl than can be playmates with my two cherubs. Nothing wrong with that, right? 


So, as I sit here, waiting for another shoe to drop, or get inserted, I wonder what else? And if that doesn’t sound inspiring, you are right. I could use a little love! 

Would anyone want to do a guest post here until I can find something fun to tell you?

 I’d like to keep this blog with a pulse; or else WordPress might ask for more money to keep it alive. (sigh)

Any donations would greatly be appreciated!

Pass the hat around

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