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Where are my elves!

OK I  have a quick Christmas question for you.

Did you hear one of Santa’s helpers went to see a therapist? Do you know why?

Give up?

He had low elf-esteem!

Get it?

OK, I will stop with the Christmas jokes.

Well if some of you think this post looks familiar its because I posted it last year. And the year before. But I am trying to catch my blog up to the Christmas season so I am pulling out all the Holiday Reblogs!

But, if you are like me, as Christmas draws near and the stress begins to rise around you, you can’t help but call out:


How’s the Christmas shopping going?

I go by our mall everyday on the way to and from work. Let me tell you, it takes about 30 extra minutes to make it home once I hit that Christmas mall traffic nowadays. I wouldn’t go out in that gauntlet if you paid me. It’s insane! Good thing my wife buys all the Christmas presents or we find them online and have them brought to us. I’m just her lowly  rapper wrapper.

Every Thanksgiving and weekends in December my wife tries to guilt drag me to go shopping with her. Call me weak but I don’t have the patience for all those masses, time wasters, and crazy people out there. Every year she tries. And every year I stand my ground. So my Grinch-like, selfish self has developed a Top Ten Reasons why I think it’s crazy to step one toe into the crazy Christmas shopping pond, that I had to reinforce once again these past two weeks. Don’t get me wrong I LOVE Christmas traditions. But this is not one of them for me.

So what are your biggest things you hate about the Christmas shopping? Do they look like my Top 10 Reasons?

Top 10 Reasons Not To Go Weekend Christmas Shopping: 

10.  Who can focus on great gift buying with all this great football on?

9.    I would rather be raking leaves! OK, that one is a toss up.

8.   There are some really scary looking Santas at the Wal-Marts that look like they came from…ah..Wal-Mart.

You're not Santa

7.   All the great gifts for the people I need to buy for are hanging neatly on the ‘Gift Card display’ in the grocery store. Really! They asked for these.

6.   There is NOBODY in the gym right now. I like working out when the Nobody’s are there

5.   If I want to see spoiled women  kids fighting over toys I could just watch the ‘Real Housewives’ episodes.

Are you kidding me?

4.   My fragile self-worth can’t handle the standing in the long lines at the registers.

3.   Shopping on-line! Let the stores bring your Christmas list to you!

2.   Santa doesn’t stand in line! Where are my elves?  


And the Number One reason to stay home Black Friday weekend:

1.   Staying home to watch your favorite college team score the go ahead touchdown while your daughter cheers with all your same enthusiasm, Priceless!


OK, sometimes I have been known to ‘embellish’ a bit in this blog so I have to come clean. My wife actually did trick me into going Christmas shopping with her Black Friday (score one for Mom).

We had my parents in town this year so my wife and I tried to fit in a date (movie night). When it was over, the mall was almost closed so she asked for ‘my help’ in trying to find some bunk beds in Sears for the girls.

I fell for it!

WELL, Sears doesn’t carry bunk beds for kids, at least not in ours. But that didn’t stop us from canvasing the whole store 2x looking for them; and her trying to get me to pick gifts for the kids along the way.

Sneaky! Very sneaky!

Her IQ dwarfs mine (ok so does Dylan’s) in her sneakiness, which reminds me why you Should never Marry A Nerd. That was sarcasm Sheldon. If you watch the Big Bang you know what I mean.PARSONS

So what do you love or hate about shopping for Christmas this time of year?



(Mele Kalikimaka!)

…to all my readers, where ever you are:

Feliz Navidad!

Joyeux Noel!

Froehliche Weihnachten!

Zalig Kerstfeast!

Kala Christouyenna!

Nollaig Shona Dhuit!

Ruumsaid juulup|hi!

Buone Feste Natalizie!

Shinnen omedeto. Kurisumasu Omedeto!

Sung Tan Chuk Ha!

Sarbatori vesele!

Hristos se rodi!

God Jul and (Och) Ett Gott Nytt År!

Nadolig Llawen!

Srozhdestvom Kristovym!

Jutdlime pivdluarit ukiortame pivdluaritlo!

Help Wanted:

Had a busy day yesterday! Busy day, good day! Between picking up Legos, wiping runny noses, cleaning up, making lunch(s), playing outside and everything; lots going on! I didn’t end up getting a shower yesterday until, aaaaa, 10:00am ~ today! All because I got the news,” Someone wants to hire me!”

Ironically the Dora song is playing the background, “We did it, we did it, we did it, hurray!” Really it is.


And I just didn’t just get hired once yesterday, two people wanted to hire me! When it rains it pours. Well the first gig doesn’t pay any money. A lady I saw on the professional web site, LinkedIn.com was offering a few internships for writing on her Business Finance web site at About.com. She liked my stuff and took me on! Thank you! You may know by now how I enjoy writing about finance. So I am excited about this.

I got another call at the end of the day. A famous snack food company wanted to hire me for a new position in our area. Super Cool! It is very exciting to be able to put your thumb print down on something you enjoy. But there is a great deal of ironie here; and amusement.
I grew up in a small town in PA. It was a small town but with a few large businesses, including this snack food giant. But you know how small towns go. One family, that owned one of the large businesses in town, also owned a fancy restaurant. The owners were great people; lots of fun! I worked at there restaurant as a bartender during the summers and on weekends thru my first college degree.

The wife of the owner was great lady and always took an interest in me. One summer it was time for her daughter to pack her things and go to college. Of all the people at her disposal she asked me if I wanted to help with the college relocation. I was thrilled! Her daughter was a great girl that was 2 years younger than me in school. You can see where this is going, can’t you?

Well I helped, we had a great time, and made some plans for weekends in the future as the homesickness would inevitably set in. But that is about where it ends as I lived up to being a bit of a punk in my youth and didn’t believe my luck could be that good. I enjoyed those experiences  and still consider the family one of my favorite employers.

Moving back to the future now, guess what family has bought this snack giant? Uh-ha! I was dropping names in the interview and knowing some things about my new employer that my interviewer didn’t even know (my parents still live  in that town). It was a great conversation, but he quickly spun the direction of the interview saying, “I better watch what I say I guess” knowing my family’s connection. So I am very excited to be working for my hometown brand, for a great family in a sense, and more importantly, with some very nice people locally. Thanks!

All that being said, I need a favor from one of you! Sadly, very sadly, I need to find some child care for the girls. (Sniff, sniff). If any of you feel qualified or interested, we are looking for a great child care provider in our home, with some experience working with and teaching toddlers. Some skills that will set you apart fromf the group would be being able to write, take pictures, and post to the Internet.

Whaddya think? Email me. I have been very fortunate to be able to touch base with lots of great people in this blogging. All of you are qualified! …and certainly better writers than me!

I also wanted to thank everyone who has chimed in and offered ideas, experiences, and advice on my previous two post in fitness. I took some notes! In the population of the handful of readers here in 3D, I find we have a broad range of fitness levels from the beginners to the best in the country. I enjoy learning from all of you!

Since this post today is a quickie, and following in the fitness theme,  I wanted to leave you with a funny from a Big Bang celebrity, since there was not a whole lot of humor today. You can see she’s really not acting too much!

I have sooo many jokes or comments I would like to add to this video but you still don’t know me that well so I will let you make up your own. Plus its late! ~ the actual time is not quite 10:00am Thurs. If you look above in the post… I really need a shower


We sometimes like to end our day with playing a game with the kids before bedtime. Dylan’s cry to, “Play with me!” can only be brushed aside for so long. Dylan likes to build towers with her Legos so it only seemed natural that she would love the game of Jenga. She loves Candyland but she doesn’t do so well with following the rules in it. She must get that from her dad.

I pull out the game and set it up. About that time our favorite background TV came on, Big Bang Theory. Low and behold, what game do you think these nerdy guys are playing? Jenga! Has it really come to this?


Being a new dad, its sometimes really hard to watch all those “cool points” accumulated in our youth get brushed aside as we transition into geeks playing Jenga and with doll castles. Its tough trying to convert from “cool dude” to “cool Dad”. All that work is gone! But then I look down and instantly remember, its all about the kids at this point. ~ I say this as Dylan is talking to someone on her play phone….

“Hello? Drayton can you come over? We can have a picnic and play at the park!”

I mean she is really having a conversation on this phone that rings for her to answer!

Yesterday I was thinking how my wife and I always like to get away to some place warm over the winter. Those exotic vacations are gone for a while I accepted. We tried going to St. Lucia the first year Dylan was born. We left her with her grandparents, thinking it would be a great way for them to bond. After 4 days, of a 7 day stay in a luxurious Sandals resort, we both missed her so much that we were ready to come home. My point is, sneaking away without the kids is not really an option with these two cherubs.

This past summer we did manage to find a vacation where there was a little something for everyone, the family resort of Ocean City, New Jersey. It was a favorite resort of mine when I was little, complete with a great boardwalk with multiple amusement piers for youngsters, all sorts of junky junk food, putt-putt, candy stores and more. Do you know what was the deciding factor for us in deciding to jet up there?

Schoolhouse Rock!


The local community players were putting on a skit, revisiting lots of favorite kid anthems from the Saturday morning cartoon. Do you remember any of these? Conjunction Junction? We thought what a great event for us our kids to enjoy, subconsciously knowing they were too young to understand enjoy any kind of schooling. We still had our hopes though! Plus the geeks in both of us looked forward to hearing it.

So lets see, playing Jenga and silly kids learning shows for annual vacation highlights compared to watching Jason Bourne movies and snorkeling the Caribbean? Cool Dad 2, Cool Dude 0.

It is soooo all about the kids!

Bye-bye cool dude! My wife would tell you I wasn’t so cool to begin with …..

I wonder what Sheldon would do?

What are your favorite “Cool Dad” or “Cool Mom” activities or memories?

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