OUR LIFE IN 3D

The Home of Daddy's Day Dare! ~ I am just trying to stay above water

Dying Day

An interesting thing happened on the way home from work the other day. ~ I’m gonna lose some readers with this ~ I was listening to NPR radio when something got my attention so much that I felt I was meant to blog about it.

Now for all of you that are going to comment on how it is a sign of old age that I am listening to NPR on the way home instead of something to help me unwind, relax. Don’t worry–I am already afraid of this.

The story was on ‘All Things Considered’. It was on a Winter Song List of people who wrote in on favorite or most inspirational songs and NPR got to pick a winner. The collage of songs caught my attention. The winning song, and story behind it, made me take notice and actually pull over to write down the author, the title to the song, and the winning contributor so I could follow-up when I got home.

The winning song was Brandi Carlile’sDying Day.” It’s an upbeat acoustic song about a writer longing for her love that is far away while she is on the road. Its a real catchy song in its own right but it is not what drew me in. Take a listen while you read on . . . .

You see the author of this winning story on NPR was locked in an adoption. She was going to adopt a darling 5 ½ month little girl from Ethiopia. She was on an international adoption trip where she had the opportunity to meet the potential baby she wanted to adopt.

For those not familiar with international adoptions, usually you sign on for an adoption program, you state what types of children you are willing and not willing to adopt, factoring in everything from race to birth defects to parental drug use and so on. Everything. The agency eventually matches you up with a child and you have to make the long trip to meet the child to see if each one is compatible with the other. Then you talk to the government agency, fly home and wait to hear if you have been approved or not.

The potential mother was Joanna Woodbury of Wauwatosa, Wis. and I’ll let her take it from here or you can listen to the episode here:

“It was awesome, and probably the most difficult thing I’ve ever done, all in one,” Woodbury says. At the time, the little girl the couple was applying to adopt was just 5 1/2 months old. “We got to be with her for about 45 minutes. I held her for 20, and then she fell asleep. We had to put her down and leave the room, and then take a 4 1/2-hour bus ride back to an Ethiopian court and say, ‘Yes, we want to parent this child.’”

A few days later, they were back in Wisconsin, where there was nothing to do but wait to hear that the adoption had been finalized. It would be a trying 11 weeks before word came through — and during that time, Woodbury says, she found a new appreciation for “Dying Day.”

“I was in the car listening to this song, which has always been a favorite of mine, and all of a sudden the lyrics just meant something different,” she says. “The lyrics are, ‘I just want to kiss you, and I’m going to love you till my dying day,’ and that I should be there to take of you and I can’t be. … It’s all about longing and a little bit of hurt, and just waiting until you get back to that person. And that’s how I felt.”

Meet ‘Nettie’ — short for Netsanet, an Amharic word for freedom

Meet ‘Nettie’ — short for Netsanet, an Amharic word for freedom

I got it. I knew exactly how she felt. In fact, I couldn’t even listen to that song without tearing up a bit. If you are a parent you probably know too. Now, if any of you are followers of my blog you have to know how I feel about my two little girls. They are a gift from God that have far exceeded my expectations of what being a Dad and raising two toddlers could have ever been. But I think only a few may have guessed by now that our kids are adopted.

My ‘Dying Day’ moment, similar to  Joanna Woodbury, was not pre-adoption though. We met our potential birthmother in a meeting prior to the adoption She was beautiful inside and out, as was her mother that came with her. We waited another 10 days ourselves until we found out we were finally going to be parents.

  Bam!

Parents with 10 days to prepare!

But it was so much more before those 10 days. I found out in my early 40′s that we could never have children; Think about it, could never have children. Ever. We tried the IVF procedure several times and while hopes and prognosis always started off high they always ended in tears and silence.

And so, sitting in my car, on the side of a busy roadway, I knew exactly how Ms. Woodbury felt. When we finally were able to receive our new daughter, then about 2 ½ weeks old, we were the happiest people on the planet. But as all you parents know, the magic is only just beginning at that point.

Receiving our new baby girl. The answer to our prayers!

You see I got to stay home on my company’s FMLA plan, to be Stay At Home Dad for the first time, actually seven years ago next Wednesday. I was left with our new beautiful daughter who just slept and ate and pooped and occasionally smiled. And I knew I was going to love her until MY dying day.

Actually, in reality my song was Jimmy Buffett’s, “That’s What Living Is To Me”. The lyrics went,

“..the world’s too big to understand.

Be good and you will be lonesome.

Be lonesome and you will be free.

Live a lie and you will live to regret it.

…that’s What Living Is To Me.”

 We had this new tropical DVD version of this song at the time, possibly one of the most scenic videos ever.

We had just gotten back from vacation about 3 months earlier and I was still riding the tropical high. Knowing that my daughter was going to grow up loving Jimmy Buffett just as I did (she has little choice living close to the beach) I would play the scenic DVD for her as we passed the days at home. And when this song came on I would pick her up and hold her gently close to my chest until I could smell her baby’s breath, slowly dance to this song, and quietly sang in her ear,

 “That’s what Dylan is to me.

That’s what Dylan is to me.”

So, like Joanna Woodbury, we found our little girl(s), or did they find us? We will continue to love them until our Dying Day. Being flesh and blood means very little to us. These girls are a precious gift to us from God and some very special Angels. That’s what Dylan and Skylar are to us.

“…Oh I miss you

and I just want to kiss you

and I will love you till my dying day.”

Sláinte

Happy St. Patrick’s Day!

I wanted to reach out and say “Cheers” thee ol Irish way today. There are lots of Irish blessings being passed around. I hope you catch yours! I am hoping you too can get your Irish Up!

One of the great things I enjoy about the great Emerald Isle is the music there. Certainly there are many versions of Irish music.

On our trip to Ireland we visited a town, Doolin, in County Clare, that had the reputation of the best traditional Irish music around. It was a small town with 3 Irish pubs. Every night Irish musicians of all ages came into jam; nothing practiced, just ‘pick up sessions’. It was great.

So in attempts to help get your Irish up I wanted offer a few quick appetizers of some Irish jams and wishes for an Irish day filled with smiles, fun & some Irish gold.

Welcome to Gus O’ Connor’s Pub in Doolin, County Clare…

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Or we can catch a jam session at my favorite, McDermott’s Pub, known as the best pub in Ireland…

Ireland Trip 08-24-2005-10

But beware….

they have some medieval methods of dealing with you if you get served too much!

Ireland Trip 08-24-2005-12

And across the bay from Doolin was a trip back to Celtic Ireland at the Aran Islands, where they still speak the ancient Celtic language and draw shamrocks in the foam of your draft pint.

So get your Irish up today! Dance a jig!

And have a very happy St. Patrick’s day!

Rainbows and a pot of gold

Rainbows and a pot of gold

Sláinte

Ireland Trip 08-24-2005-24

Happy Birthday Dr. Geisel!

As some of you know, my girls have grown up loving the books and poems of Shel Silverstein. We have read these stories or poems to them every day in their beginnings. They are fun to read and fun to act out. And it seems every year, this time of year, there is school or two somewhere that does projects on these poems as this is the year I get my most Hits in Bedroom Stories for Shel’s work and specifically Snowball.

But arguably the most noted children’s author and poemster is Theodor Seuss Geisel, otherwise known as Dr Seuss.

dr seuss pic

And if you have a youngster in school you know he just celebrated a birthday last week.

Well all the First Graders at my daughter’s elementary school decided to celebrate and honor Dr. Theodor Seuss this week during a cleverly disguised PTA meeting. Yes, those PTA’ers had the First Graders come in and honor Dr. Seuss during a volunteer meeting. ( Bamboozled I was)dr.

So we attended this Dr. Seuss show and a big pack of First Graders. The show was great!

They were truly treated as Rock Stars with all the paparazzi going on…

dr. seuss

Each class took turns reading several verses from Dr. Seuss’s most popular poems. Dylan was chosen from her class to do a reading with her best friend.

dr seuss

I think all you parents know what I mean when you can really feel for your young child as they get set to read in front of all their peers, and a big auditorium… behind a microphone.

dr. seussreading

You know what? She did great! She wasn’t the loudest but reading her rhymes she didn’t miss a word.

How did I do Daddy?

How did I do Daddy?

At the end we were all treated to a serving of Green Eggs and Ham.

Greenegg

Remember this one?

Try singing reading along with these enthusiastic kids from Thursday’s hoopla…

…..You do not like green eggs and ham?

I do not like them, Sam-I-am.

Could you, would you, with a goat?

I would not, could not. with a goat!

Would you, could you, on a boat?

I could not, would not, on a boat.

I will not, will not, with a goat.

I will not eat them in the rain.

I will not eat them on a train.

Not in the dark!

Not in a tree!

Not in a car!

You let me be!

I do not like them in a box.

I do not like them with a fox.

I will not eat them in a house.

I do not like them with a mouse.

I do not like them here or there.

I do not like them ANYWHERE!

I do not like green eggs and ham!

I do not like them, Sam-I-am.

 

Great job everyone!

And Happy Birthday (belated) Dr. Seuss!

 

DYLANism: My sweaters don’t feel that soft

IMG_20150310_190620887

Dylan: “Hey, can I pet your dogs?”

Neighborhood guy: “Sure you can. They like to be petted.”

DSC_0148

Dylan: “What kind of dogs are they? They are really soft.”

Neighborhood guy: “They are poodles. Watch out they might jump up on you!”

Dylan: “Poodles, huh? They sure are cute and friendly.

I think they need a shave!”

Neighborhood guy: “What makes you say they need a shave?”

Dylan:  “They look like sheep!”

Thank you! Thank you! I am yours all da week

Thank you! Thank you! I am yours all da week

 

 

 

I need some advice…

Have you ever had one of those moments, those ‘Toys In The Attic’ moments you hear about where somebody finds something really Incredible or valuable, like lost baseball cards, a forgotten valuable painting or heirloom that they never knew they had? Well last night Dylan and I found my gem that I never knew I had.

Last night Dylan and I were looking through the dresser in my bedroom and ran across my old childhood piggy bank. Ah, ‘Elephant’ bank if you really look at it.

bank

I have had this since I can remember. I kept my fancy coins that were given to me back in the day. And so Dylan takes it and opens it up and starts exploring my treasures. Eventually she ran across a broken stainless steel bracelet with a person’s name on it. It was a POW bracelet that I wore as a child during the Vietnam War.

I wore this $2.00 bracelet everyday for about a year. I didn’t know who the POW was on the bracelet but I did wonder what happened to him? Was he Army, Air Force, Marine, Navy? Was he a prisoner? Was he missing? Was he still alive?

So I thought about him, prayed as a 10-year-old knows how to pray, and really always hoped he was alive and doing OK. He was in my thoughts and prayers. But really, so were Little League, school and trips to the beach.

Then the war ended and I never heard his name. I lived in a small town in PA and I watched and I listened but I never heard a word about Mr. Gruters.

Where was that darned Internet when you need it!

And so the war ended and I reluctantly took the bracelet off and put it in my piggy bank, not knowing what else to do.

Can you make out that date?

Can you make out that date?

This POW bracelet stayed in my bank after I left home in my early 20s along with all my coins; silver dollars, Bi-Centennial quarters and dollars and the like. It stayed in that bank as I moved up and down the east coast, through all the dozens of apartments and now houses I moved into as I made my way through life. I couldn’t understand the significance of the bracelet but I felt it represented a ‘Life’ of someone who fought hard for my country. .

Not familiar with the POW Bracelets?

Here is what my Wiki says about them: ” a nickel-plated or copper commemorative bracelet engraved with the name, rank, and loss date of an American serviceman captured or missing during the Vietnam War.

The bracelets were first created in May 1970 [1] with the intention that American POWs in Vietnam not be forgotten. The bracelets sold for $2.50 or $3.00. Those who wore the bracelets vowed to leave them on until the soldier named on the bracelet, or their remains, were returned to America.” And that’s what I did

Guy

So with Dylan sitting by my side I Googled the name on the bracelet, after all these years, to see if I could ever find the outcome to this mysterious GI honored on my bracelet. To my surprise the name I was typing, Capt. Guy Gruters, came up in the search before I was even done typing it.

I thought who is this man?

Who was this man?

Is he famous somehow?

You know what? There are lots of pages on the Internet about this great man. This man, whose bracelet I wore, now does motivational speeches based on his captivity and surviving it. His speeches are based around:

Forgiveness

Leadership

Teamwork

Conversion / Finding God in a Prison Camp

Here is a link to my Mr. Gruters and 2 other POW’s appearing on an ABC Memorial Day Tribute to POW’s of the Vietnam War.

Capt. Charlie Plumb, Col. Lee Ellis, Capt. Guy Gruters

There are many pages about him, too numerous to list here. Each one is filled with incredible stories depicting the courage of this man on my bracelet.

I decided to read his Wikipedia page first. To my delight and astonishment I found he was not only alive but thriving!

Here is a brief bio about the name of the man I wore on my bracelet from Wilki:

Guy Gruters was raised in New Jersey where he spent his childhood trapping muskrat, camping, hunting and Scouting (Eagle Scout Rank awarded).

He won acceptance to the United States Air Force Academy and graduated with a BS in Engineering Science (Summa Cum Laude, ranked 7th in his graduating class overall, #1 in Engineering Science.) He then went on to Purdue University and completed a Master’s degree in Astronautical Engineering in less than one year.

After Undergraduate Pilot Training and fighter gunnery school, he volunteered for Vietnam and served six years, more than five years of which was as a POW. During his flight operations as a Forward Air Controller in the first 10 months, Guy flew more than 400 combat missions, first for the 173rd Airborne Brigade.

As a copilot of the two-seat F-100F, Gruters was shot down twice. The first shoot down required a parachute water landing less than one mile offshore near the North Vietnamese city of Dong Hoi while under fire from the enemy’s coastal guns in November 1967. North Vietnamese boats were prevented from intercepting the downed pilots by strafing U.S. F-4 fighter-bombers, First Lieutenant Gruters and Captain Charles Neel were rescued by two USAF HH-3E Sea King helicopter crews based 60 miles away while under heavy fire.[1]

Gruters was shot down for the second time on December 20, 1967. He and fellow pilot, Colonel Robert R. Craner were captured and imprisoned in the Hoa Lo Prison (Hanoi Hilton) among other camps. Upon their initial incarceration, Gruters and Craner cared for Lance Sijan before Sijan succumbed to wounds and torture in January 1968.[1]    (which is an incredible story itself)

Gruters spent 5 years and 3 months, over 1900 days, as a prisoner of war before his release in 1973.

Decorations:

Guy Gruters’ decorations include more than thirty combat awards, with two Silver Stars, two DFCs, two Purple Hearts, a Bronze Star Medal for Valor, the POW Medal, a Presidential Unit Citation, 20 Air Medals and other medals.

Guy Gruters’ testimony was instrumental in Lance Sijan receiving the Medal of Honor posthumously in 1976. Guy Gruters’ story was described in the book, “Bury Us Upside Down,”

Wow!

I had no idea

As a small boy, I had no idea that I was wearing the bracelet of an American Hero and a phenomenal man. Can you imagine, 5 years as a Prisoner Of War? What were you doing 5 years ago? What have you done since? I can’t begin to appreciate the hardships and torture this courageous man had to live with for those five+ years.

Five + years in captivity, where people are being tutored daily? Guy, in his words says, “Facing death was easy. It was facing torture that was the the hardest.”

So how is your day going so far?

Let me take you back to a day in March 1973 when I could have, and should have, been able to take off my POW bracelet. Watch as Guy is greeted by his ‘little’ brother, who Guy claims was, “the kid I beat up all my life and now  (grown and) stronger than I am” (after 5 years of incarcerations) in  a very special reunion with his family:

So this post comes back to a little boy in a small town wearing the bracelet of a very big man that has been rediscovered.

And this little boy is humbled.

This man has more courage than this boy can possibly fathom.

Guy is now a writer and motivational speaker based on his experiences as a POW

Guy is now a writer and motivational speaker based on his experiences as a POW

And

What a remarkable treasure, the story, the meaning, the role model,the man thought lost for so long Dylan and I found in my old piggy bank.

What a joy to be able to finally put a face and a life with the name on my  little POW bracelet.

What a huge inspiration of courage and strength and faith held in a teeny-tiny bracelet.

Mr. Guy Gruters is the real deal. An American Hero. An American Treasure.

 I feel honored to get a glimpse of this great man’s life through my childhood POW bracelet.

So I need some advice please. What would you do with this bracelet?

And if you say give it back to Mr. Gruters, under what premise of doing so after almost 50 years?

Any ideas?

What kind of Thank You is great enough for Mr.  Gruters; and all the servicemen and women and POW’s out there?

Interested in more real life stories about the adverse life of a POW and the courage of a hero? Check out the many stories captured in Guy’s website.

Courage is fear after you have said your prayers” Capt. Guy Gruters

 

 


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