OUR LIFE IN 3D

The Home of Daddy's Day Dare! ~ I am just trying to stay above water

Archive for the month “October, 2013”

Have time for a quickie?

Guess what everyone? The Holidays came a bit early today! Yes, one of the highlights of the upcoming holidays has arrived already…..our shipments at work for the Christmas Chocolate and White Chocolate covered pretzels. Yes, part of my job is to sample warehouse and distribute these delicacies to all the area grocery stores until there shelves can’t hold any more.

pretzels

Then, after the holidays are over, all the stores make our sales people take all the chocolate pretzels off these shelves and then they return them to ME! I’ll eat a bag a day for the following two months. Oh, how I need to get running again! 

pretzells

This weekend, to my amusement and also my chagrin, I noticed someone found my blog by doing a search for,

‘what to do when so far your life has been an embarrassment’

Really? That led someone to my poor ol’ family blog?

Hey, I have enjoyed my life pretty much so far. And while I certainly think I could have done better or made some better decisions along the way, I hope I have never sounded that pathetic in my posts. Maybe it’s part of my style of humor? 

But it made me wonder how that word search ever found my blog? Me? Mr. Cheer and Optimism!

The next day, my puzzlement continued as the search, ‘o no daddy 3d sex pics’ led someone to my blog somehow. Hey, I was only joking about the ‘Jumbo Hot Dogs’ pic in my Prostate Update post. I hope the WordPress police don’t think I am somehow going ‘Burlesque’ over here. 

It also has me wondering what kind of people are led to my blog via these bizarre searches? Yikes!

google

So I checked my Stats ‘Search’ page for the last year. Guess how else you can find my 3D web site?

Did you know if you did a search for “have time for a quickie?” you might find my blog?  Yep that happend last year.

If you did a search for on “gittin old… i very quietly confided to my best friend that i was having an affair” you might find my blog.

If you were wondering about, “big tit cream bi,bang bros 30 min” and did a search you might find my blog.

If you Googled, “are runners exhibitionists undressing at end of race” you might find my blog. 

If you were looking to purchase a brothel or refinance your home in a fun way and goggled, “mortgage calculator sexy” you have probably found my blog. 

If one morning you were feeling really hung over and worried what happened the night before and so you decided to Google, “if i went through someone’s yard would tire marks match mine?” or “lost my big toe” you could have found my blog. A few people did evidently.

Similarly, if your wife travelled to Africa on a girls vacation and you heard it might have gotten out of hand and decided to find out for yourself by Googling, “my wife exhibitionist in Egypt” you might find my blog. 

If you are young and in love and don’t have a shower and wondering if there is any harm in this by searching, “i’m willing to risk the cooties if you are” you could have found my blog.

If you have heard strange stories about your estranged father and your own suspect upbringing and decided to Google, “daddys naked infrontoff the kids pics” you might find my blog.

If you heard of a dairy tragedy and wanted to see for yourself by Googling, “40,000 lbs of icecream on the highwasy” you might have found my blog.

 If you found out your best friend can’t keep a secret and followed up by searching, “i very quietly confided to my best friend that i was having an affair” you probably found my blog. 

If your favorite show is ‘Unforgettable’ and decided to find out more about its star by Googling, “poppy montgomery sex scene” or “poppy montgomery in diapers” you probably found my blog. 

If you wondered ANYTHING about Jessica Alba, trust me, ANYTHING……you probably found my blog. (I guess Salma Hayek fans are more clean minded) 

If you were worried about bad behaving Nursery Rhyme characters at your nearby Fantasyland and Googled, “stoned humpty dumpty” you probably found my blog. 

And, in a strangely ironic twist to this sad post, if you did a search for, “if i haven’t scared you off yet” you might have found this blog. 

And if you guessed I am no Jeff Foxworthy, by copying his brand for my post you….. are probably right.

IF you do a search for Jeff Foxworthy........you might find this blog

IF you do a search for Jeff Foxworthy……..you might find my blog

Sadly, all the above lines were searches that led to my kid’s blog, IN 3D (sigh). 

So, what can one do when one finds out their blog ‘so far might be an embarrassment’?

Do you care to share any funny or crazy search terms from your blog?

DYLANism: Who is buying all this Stuff?

Sunday I was on the phone with Dylan’s Grandma when that Stuffies commercial came on (How much stuff can you stuff in a stuffy…). We see this commercial a lot on the all kids TV channels we watch.

stuggies

Dylan saw the commercial and grabbed her little Curious George drawing book and asked me how to spell the word ‘Stuffies’.  I should have heard her wheels turning.

I politely told her I was on the phone with her Grandma and couldn’t talk right now.

So Dylan went to find Mom.

When I got off the phone Dylan told me I could order her a Stuffy for her birthday.

I told her to tell her Aunt Sue or Grandmother as Christmas is a lot closer.

She says, “No Dad, you don’t understand. You can order me one for my birthday right now“and she leads me by the hand back to my office.

I get in my office at home and there on my computer screen is the Stuffies’ web site.

Dylan evidently took the spelling for Stuffies and did a search  for the toy, found the web site on the search, pulled the Stuffies web site up and found the one for her.

I thought this amazing for two reasons.

First, what does a kindergartener know about doing a Search on the computer to find something, let alone reading what comes up under the search and choosing the right link? I didn’t teach her.

Second, this girl saw something she wanted and made a plan to go get it. She just didn’t ask and bat her eyes like a Princess. She made a logical plan on how to make it easy for Mom and Dad fill her wish.

First grade computer class my butt!

Please, please, please can I have one? What is your 3 digit authorization code?

Please, please, please can I have one? And what is the 3 digit authorization code on your Master Card?

I better hide the credit cards!

Now I am a new Dad, is this unusual in this day and age or do you know of some equally amazing feats?

Ol’ buddy, ol’ Chum, ol’ pal….

I wanted to send a quick update on our dog situation.

The last time I brought him up, Chum or Chummy, was a well-mannered, friendly dog but with a growing urge to growl or even bite when he felt his space or freedom was being threatened.

Well the good news is he has stopped all that. (it looks like) We haven’t heard a story of him growling in 3 weeks. I think he is feeling more and more like a part of the family. And Dylan is a big reason why.

While we considered returning Chum to the greyhound adoption group, mom knew that would be hard on Dylan. She had already become attached to him.

I guess we all have our first favorite pet, one that we could call ours.

And so its been with Dylan and Chummy. When she gets up, she doesn’t get us up any more. She wants to feed and play with Chum. She is the first to let him out of his crate when we return from a trip. She hangs on him and loves on him, sometime too hard I feel. But Chummy hasn’t resisted.

So this past Friday, Dylan had one of those adorable outfits on from one of her special Grandmothers. Mom and I each thought it super cute that we reached for our cameras about the same time before D. was to hop in my car and jet off to school.

Well, Dylan felt too shy for all the fuss that early in the morning and hid.

Knowing she really does enjoy the hoopla of looking cute (like most girls I imagine) I suggested, “why don’t we take a picture of Chum and, Dylan, if you want to, you can stand beside him.

You know what? It worked.

She really doesn't mind the attention from looking cute...

She really doesn’t mind the attention from looking cute…

She came out and stood beside ‘her dog’

And I say that as that is what mom suggested the other day. She remarked about how much D. loves that dog and how it is really HER dog (not mine).

Come on, strike a pose…

...she doesn't mind one bit and will actually 'ham it up' for the camera sometimes.

…she doesn’t mind one bit and will actually ‘ham it up’ for the camera sometimes.

Its funny, Dylan will lie down on the living room rug in hopes that Chum will lay down beside her so she can pet and cuddle with him.

Instead, when Dylan lays on her back Chum will go and stand over top of her, front feet on one side and back feet on the other, making a bridge over her.

And that’s what dogs do, right?

If a dog is feeling threatened of surrendering to a big dog they lay on their back and flash their belly. Its a sign, ‘I give up’.

I think Chum sees Dylan laying on the ground and stands over her to protect her. He doesn’t look down at her when he does this, he looks at us. Its really touching to see.

I think she gets great enjoyment out of it. And who wouldn't?

I think she gets great enjoyment out of it. And who wouldn’t?

And that my friends is the happy face that hops in my car and goes off to school for another challenging day of Kindergarten. And then she will run in the door and give her dog a hug when she returns.

Forgive the bravado blog readers but friends and family would like to know she has gotten a ‘green smiley face’ every day of school so far; and indication of their behavior in class. Five green smiley faces in a row allows them to pick from a treasure chest at the end of the week.

She has been placed in the first grade computer class and has passed two reading tests so far that qualify her for the second level of three levels in first grade reading.

Its only the beginning as there is really very few things she can’t read. ~We have to be careful what we leave laying around the house now a she will pick up on it. She read through the church bulletin this morning with our friends that sit beside us.

And I am working with her on math. I imagine she above level there as well.

On a separate note, I am still doing good, feeling great. The side effects of my procedure are about the same. Its all a matter of managing ‘life’ right now. Although all the literature I read said side effects (mostly urinary) really don’t kick in until after 2 weeks of the procedure, which was this past week. If  the incontinence was supposed to start at all, it would be now. But I have had none of that

I have to admit, for someone that has had their fair share of beers in the past, having a sudden urge to go is nothing new. I now have had to eliminate my Mountain Dews in the mornings as a way to cope in hope of preventing any soggy bottoms in the afternoons. Ah,actually, later that same morning. Cause I am a man of constant, ah………..sorrows…

Have a great week everyone!

Whatcha wearing for Trick or Treat?

Post Prostate Procedure Update

I wanted to give a brief update on my treatment and recovery in dealing with my prostate cancer. Possibly, if anyone finds they have prostate cancer and has the Brachytherapy (Radiation Seed Implant) as an option this can serve as a example to my experience in treating the cancer and hopefully may answer a few questions.

If anyone reading this knows of someone with prostate cancer, and most certainly you will sometime, let this be a guide. But the only way to have my treatment method,  Brachytherapy and radiation seed implants, is to get the cancer detected early. To have this option the cancer must still be relatively small and localized; no spreading. Otherwise more invasive treatments must be used, up to and including removal.

My first week has been pretty easy. The short story here is I went back to work the Friday after my procedure; back to work in 3-4 days. Anyone reading this that has this option, I highly recommend you take it.  Now 2 weeks since the procedure I feel normal. I feel great; just like how I felt when I walked in the hospital. Infact, I felt that way a week ago.

The day of my procedure was a breeze. They gave me an IV early. I danced in my surgical gown after a bathroom adventure.  Two hours later they wheeled me to the operating room. I switched beds by own accord. A nurse with pretty white teeth said, ‘I am now going to drop something in your IV that will make me sleep’ and the next thing I know I am waking up in the recovery room, mentally searching my body to see what hurts. Nothing hurt. It was that easy. I entered the hospital at 5.30am and was discharged by 2.00pm. … for a cancer treatment.

I went back to my Oncologist the next morning at 8.30am and his nurse took out the catheter.  This went waaaayyyyy easier than I thought it would be; out in a second.  It felt like I was peeing really hard; that’s what the catheter felt like being removed.

Sure there are some anxious moments, mainly stemming from things I didn’t understand; mainly that morning in the hospital, living with a catheter in and especially the catheter removal.  I didn’t get much sleep the night with the catheter in.  And Pee’ing has been the biggest concern. It really took me half the morning the day of my procedure to pee at all on my own and then I could not get a stream until about 3pm that day.

My butt was sore initially but not where I thought it would be. While I thought the area of injections would be in the land down under, where my legs come together, the actual busy area was BEHIND that area, not so much in the middle, but literally in the REAR.

Note: Urinary tract through one's prostate and the shortest distance to insert radioactive needles is via the rectum

Note: Urinary tract through one’s prostate and the shortest distance to insert radioactive needles is via the rectum

I came home with a maxi pad type cushion in my catheter underwear for my butt and there were a few blood dots on it from the needles. The inner portions of my cheeks were swollen for about a week. It seems most of the needles entered my prostate via my lower rectum. That area is still a bit sore. And why wouldn’t it be sore? I figure 30+ needles went in through there.

I have what looks like a months’ worth of infection medicine. Thankfully, I do not have any infections though.  I do have some meds for pain, percocets.

Now I had not taken the pain meds because I didn’t feel like I needed them after the catheter was removed. I felt fine! However I read online a few days following my release that the pain meds were for the swelling. I didn’t know! It’s a good thing I looked up ‘recovery’ on a web search.

My stomach felt ‘full‘ the first few days although I could eat. And I think that had to do with overall swelling inside my stomach. They said my prostate should have really swollen up. I thought to get 95 seeds in my tiny, poor ol’ prostate it would have had to be enlarged!

And I don’t feel the seeds or radiation one bit. None! I would never know they were there. Although I swear I can smell the radiation. My wife says that’s not likely. I have had that same ‘hospital smell’ around me for almost 10 days.

I have many of the usual ‘side effects’ that pertains to this procedure and my urine. My urine stream has been impaired.  Impaired? My 3 year old has more fluid volume than I do.

The gentle flow usually means smaller urination, creating more frequency, given a normal diet.

I get the urges to go real bad but when I make it to the bathroom I barely get a stream. This is normal I hear. Guess the prostate is still rather enlarged. Size does matter! I worry what’s wrong while I wait to finish but when I am done it feels good. It’s hard to explain.

The day following the procedure it was real important that I go to make sure my urinary tract was not injured during the procedure.  Well, I went, eventually, just 15 minutes before my deadline, but only enough to fill a shot glass.

I was told to take a warm bath for the swelling that may have occurred from my catheter placement but that “if I couldn’t get a stream going by 3:00pm to come back in.

Uh-oh!

So I drank some more and waited and waited.

I finally found the old, ‘hands up against the wall’ pose as the most comfortable as I waited for some action down there.

60450-frisking

But, now,  I go to the bathroom more often than I used to. My streams are weak or smallish. And I frequently have the sensation of wondering whether I am actually finished or still more to come, forcing me to adopt a new pee’ing position

thinker

An extreme example of this came last Sunday as I counted 6 times that I got up to go to the bathroom between 10:30pm and 12:30am. That’s one every 20 minutes. I ended up getting up over 10 times that very sleepless night.

But all these issues are listed side effects. I see it as all fixing itself in time.

And while one side effect maybe blood in the urine, I have none of that. However, the 2nd or third day, while I was in the shower, I was cleaning up and noticed my penis was mostly purple, along with a great portion of my scrotum. Yes black and blue.

Ahhhh! 

Yea, kinda like that....

Yea, kinda like that….

Frankly, you really hate to see black and blue or ‘injury’ in your sensitive areas and this was no exception. Thoughts of ‘withering and falling off’ run through your mind.

It was Plum scarey!

It was Plum scarey!

This was really unsettling at the time but I figured it was from all the trauma it must have went through with the catheter initially. And the discoloration is starting to fade now.  Thankfully, nothing has fallen off!

In fact, here now at 14 days since my procedure, my doctor told me I am supposed to exercise that wiener!

He told me that intercourse would be good ‘therapy’ for the healing and rejuvenation of my prostate. The catch is that I need to wear a condom in case one of my glowing seeds passes through my prostate.

Now how many surgeries can you think of that tell you to go have sex as a way to heal? So, in a way, we actually will be playing doctor this week!

Another side effect might be my energy being sapped. I fag-out around 3pm-4pm the majority of the days since the procedure. At first I thought it was from the pain killers. But then I stopped taking them during the day. But I still feel nappy.

I left work 30- 60 minutes early each day of my return. Possibly it is the radiation inside me making me tired or my body dealing with some changes

I tried to ride my bike this past weekend but that didn’t seem like a good idea. Yes, my rear is still a bit sore inside.

In looking back, over the whole treatment for my prostate cancer, the hardest part of this whole procedure was done at the testing, the biopsy.  And that wasn’t so bad. Again, not too bad for having a cancer.

Of course I am gun-hoe now since it is over but I have to remind myself I still have the cancer and it won’t be for another 2 months or so until I know if this procedure actually got rid of my cancer. So I tell myself it’s not over yet. But so far no complications.

You know if I am running down the aisles of a grocery store, pushing two girls in a grocery cart, I can’t be feeling too bad. In fact…

I feel too good!

I feel pre-procedure, when I didn’t feel sick at all. I feel unleashed, like a new lease on life. I feel like I don’t have a small box of radiated BB’s in my belly.

I wish I would! Then I would remember to not pick up my two girls and carrying on with them. It’s hard to remember about the radiation without a good mild reminder.

So, in summary, the procedure went well. Recovery is fairly easy and pretty quick. And ‘best practices’ for healing and recovery include having sex and sleeping. Maybe I can just drag this recovery out a little bit longer then!

Thanks again to all of you that sent the prayers, well-wishes and healing thoughts. it really meant a lot! Words can’t express my gratitiude but….

YOU rock!

YOU rock!

 

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